Keeping my glare to myself, I took my plate and went to the other side of the counter. The more space between me and anyone was the best way to go.
“So, how old are you?” Jasper asked as Dawn plated him up a slice that was bigger than my own.
I looked at Dawn, hoping she’d just answer for me.
“You can answer that.”
I huffed. But in the next breath, I pulled the notebook that was always left out on the counter towards me before writing down the number.
“I thought you were younger,” Jasper commented. “Seventeen is a big deal, though.”
“He’s always mis-aged. Nothing we can do about it,” Dawn said, like it was an everyday thing. Well, it was. But now, it felt like it was something to be proud of instead of wanting to hide myself away.
There was a time that men wanted me because I looked like a ten-year-old when I was thirteen. Or when I was in fact ten and looked to be seven. I hated it. Now, I had no option but to accept that I’d look younger than I was for the rest of my life.
“Every day is a big deal,” Dawn remarked. “But someone isn’t a huge fan of celebrating anything.”
“That’s okay.” Jasper took a bite of the cake. “Did you make this?”
I shook my head. It wouldn’t be as sweet if I had, even though this one wasn’t too bad.
“Someone shouldn’t make their own cakes on their birthdays,” Dawn almost huffed the response. “Or he certainly would have.”
“Have you had a good day, at least?” Jasper turned his question back to me.
I lifted a shoulder. It was like any other day. I did some laundry, cleaned, read and fell into a zone of documentaries.I didn’t know what else to do, and I wasn’t going to try to go outside my comfort zones when I wasn’t being pushed to do so.
“Is that good or bad?”
I made some sort of grunt sound, shoving a piece of cake into my mouth.
“So, a normal day, I take it?” Then, I nodded. At least this guy understood what I didn’t want to say.“Well, if you find yourself bored at any time, you can come help over at Grams’. There’s so much trash. I need to rent a huge dumpster. I swear, baby boomers keep the most random crap. There was a broken rocking chair from when she was a toddler in the attic.”
“I’m glad I don’t have parents or anything like that I have to be tasked with to clean out,” Dawn shook her head. “I forgot something in the car. I’ll be right back.”
What?
I looked at her, wide eyed, hoping she could read my thoughts right then and there. All she did was give me a small smile before leaving. Leaving me in the kitchen with a man.
My heartbeat too quickly in my chest, and my hands shook badly enough I had to set my plate down on the counter. My appetite for the cake was long gone now.
“I’ve worked with a lot of kids.” Jasper took a seat on the stool I had been sitting on. “I know you aren’t a kid, at least not in the way I’ve been around them. Being a preschool teacher, then also taking on some summer work with helping at a children’s psychologist services offices, I’ve seen a lot of things.” He paused long enough to take another small bite. “I know things, or I can guess pretty darn close to things, on how kids and adults alike react to certain things. Iseethat you didn’t like Dawn leaving with me still here. And for good reason, but I promise, I won’t hurt you. I’ll never lay a hand on you.”
My breath got caught in my chest as my hands gripped the counter, nails digging into the underside of the thick material.
“And I know that as long as I don’t move too quickly, and if I keep my voice level and calm, you won’t freak out too badly. You’re close to a limit, one I don’t know what the trigger is exactly. Most likely something to dowith me. maybe it’s the tattoos, since you’ve been eying them. Or maybe it’s because I’m male. Or maybe it could be my hair color. Or everything or nothing.”
I hated that he was being calm. I hated the fact that my heart was wearing itself out to run out of my chest or to slow down.
“I won’t hurt you,” he went on, letting his eyes land on the plate before him. “Whoever has hurt you should rot in hell. I know that means nothing, least of all for whatever you’ve been through. But I mean it. No one should ever hurt children, no matter the age. Those people, those abusers, shouldn’t be walking this earth freely. I’ve seen so many children hurt in ways that I never wanted to. Some are worse off than others.”
I blinked, forcing the tears to hold off. I had been doing so well, too. I've gone a little over two weeks now without shedding a tear.
Why did he have to see through me? With Dawn, it was expected. But this ink covered man was different.
I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t want someone to be able to look at me and know the horror of my past. Not when I struggled to move on past it myself.
Chapter 21
