Pulling back, Dawn gave me a soft smile that was just for me. “I know you still don’t like to celebrate, but I got you something little.”
I lifted a brow, which was probably not seen over the rest of my glasses.
“Here.” She pulled out a bag that she’d brought in not long ago, sliding it across the counter towards me before backing away and getting some plates out for the cake.
I didn’t think anyone ever thought it was weird to have cake before dinner, but it was the one thing I didn’t mind. Treats before real food was always the best way to go.
Slowly, I pulled the brown gift bag closer before opening it up enough to reach a hand in. Past the white tissue paper, my fingers grasped the edge of a book. Pulling it out fully, I caught the words written on the front.
Cookies and Other Desserts
“Figured you’d enjoy that over more clothes.”
She was right. This, I’d actually use and make something out of it. Apps and online recipes only went so far, and that was after you had to scroll forever to get to the recipe. I didn’t need an article telling me how it tasted or where it came from.
Flipping through the pages, my eyes trying to take in every recipe before going to the next. There were only a hundred pages, each page holding at least one if not two recipes.
“Find a few you’d want to try and we’ll get the ingredients this weekend.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, my gaze still fully on the book. When I realized I spoke, I looked up too quickly, making my head spin. My voice was rough, as it had been the past few weeks when I kept trying to at least mutter a word or two on my own.
“Of course,” Dawn smiled wide, but otherwise didn’t make a comment about my whispered words. “Mrs. Lee would enjoy sometreats, too. She can’t stop gushing over the last cookies you made.”
I couldn’t stop the blush that appeared. Having compliments, no matter if it was for the treats I made, or my appearance, it always made me feel funny. My stomach warmed just as much as my cheeks did.
I ducked my head, even though it did nothing to hide me from Dawn’s view.
“I hear her grandkids were even fans. She wanted to know what you did to make oatmeal cookies, not oatmeal.”
Cooking the oats before making them into cookies was the trick,I thought. But that wasn’t something most people did. It made the cookies come out softer and not so dry like so many store-bought ones were.
“She said that the two boys will be here more this summer,” Dawn went on, passing a plate with an almost too big slice of cake towards me. The frosting was a simple white, while the inside was more of a spice cake. Something that wasn’t too sweet for my stomach.
Despite my stomach not agreeing to certain things, I loved to bake. It’s where I found peace in the chaos of my mine. Lately, that’s where Dawn had been finding me when sleep eluded me on long nights.
It wouldn’t matter how many times I had to deal with the consequences, I still ate thingsthat didn’t agree with me. Although, Dawn had figured it out late one night when I was huddled over the toilet, begging for the cramps to leave me be. So now, she tried to control what she bought and limit how much I ate sugary stuff.
If she knew sugary stuff wasn’t the only thing that bothered me…. well, I don’t know what she’d do. In the past, foster families would have told me to starve. The men I served would have force fed me the food that made me sick. Dawn probably would have just told me to not eat as much, and help find better solutions.
Too lost in thought, a piece of cake fell off the fork as the doorbell rang, echoing through the house. Seeing Dawn busy cleaning up the little bit of dishes in the sink, I set my fork down beside the plate before putting my feet on the floor. The warmth of the tile instantly soaked into my soul as I made my way to the front door.
Figuring it was just a neighbor, since that’s who usually stopped by, or Officer Sarah once in a while, I opened the door without checking to see who it was first. Heck, it could have been the social worker even, since she hadn’t been by for a few months. But normally, she’d call a day or two ahead of showing up.
I paused, frozen with my feet to the floor as my eyes took in who was on the other side.
I’d know those eyes anywhere. They have plagued my dreams lately, too.
He didn’t look too much different from the last time I had seen him. The tattoos still decorated his arms, creating art that needed color with the mix of skin and black. The black marking that was wrapped a bit up around his neck was new, though. I wanted to reach out and trace some of the times, wondering how soft his marked skin was. At least that urge was easy to ignore as I blinked.
“Hi.” Jasper smiled; voice quiet as if I were a frightened animal. Given, I probably was. Not an animal, but easily startled. There were reasons I wasn’t outside often when I knew he was next door. “Grams wanted me to come by and give you this. She’d do it herself, but she’s a bit under the weather.”
He held out a store-bought shopping bag. My arms were stuck to my sides, not able to move to reach out to take it from his grasp.
“Happy birthday,” he added.
Thankfully, Dawn came to my rescue, peering around me. “Would you like a piece of cake?” She didn’t give him time to answer before basically ushering him in. “We have plenty.”
I sighed, following Dawn back to the kitchen. Jasper’s steps were loud enough to let me know he was following, too.
