Glaring at my stupidity, I eyed the door, wondering if Jasper was waiting for me. Could I sneak up the stairs and take a quick shower before meeting him in the kitchen?
I already made more than enough of a fool of myself. Having a complete meltdown like a toddler was bad enough. But going into another room with wet pants wasn’t an option, even though I was as low as I possibly could go.
Opening the door as slowly as I could, I peeked around the corner and down the hallway. Jasper and Dawn’s voices were low, but echoed my way, which meant that the coast was clear.
My feet barely made a sound as I quickly sprinted up the steps, and to my bedroom, where I grabbed whatever random clothes my hands landed on. Then, just as softly, I padded towards the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind me.
The bathroom once had a lock, but Dawn had taken it off months ago. Which may have been one of the smartest ideas she’d come across with.
Although I had plans to make it a quick shower, it turned out to not be so fast. Once I was under the spray, the tears came once more. Some were from soap getting in myeyes, some for feeling so lost and overwhelmed with everything.
There was no hope at the end of the line. It was as though I’d keep pulling the rope with all my might, and all that happened was me being dragged backwards instead of getting anywhere.
How much more could I take? How much would it take before I officially cracked even farther, and never returned?
Forcing my body to move, I finished up, and then dried off. I didn’t bother to brush my hair. I simply put on a shirt that was two sizes too big, and a pair of shorts. By the time I came out of the bathroom, Jasper was sitting on the floor across from me, waiting.
When he saw me, he stood, putting his phone back into his pocket.
“Feeling better?”
I shook my head. There wasn’t a point in lying.
“We’ll work towards it, then.” He stepped forward, and cupped my face in both of his hands. His thumbs swiped away tears before he crushed me against his chest.
“Food time.” He pulled back, taking a hold of my hand and leading me towards the kitchen. My feet followed, shuffling against the carpet on each step. With each step, my body leaned against him more and more.
“One more question of the day,” Jasper paused in front of the table. He lifted my face up with a knuckle under my chin. “Do you want options, or do you want me to take control?”
Whatever he wanted, I thought. I pointed at him, hoping he understood.
He smiled, taking the hand I pointed at him with, wrapping it in his. His own was so big around my own, and my gaze focused on that, even as Dawn set a bowl on the table.
“Good, little dove. I’m so proud of you. Do you remember those three colors we talked about? Red, yellow, and green?” He waited until I nodded. “Good. Use them at any time.”
“Kay.”
Jasper didn’t say anything as he took a seat, easily pulling me onto his lap and getting me to sit sideways. I leaned my side against his front, soaking up everything he offered.
I wasn’t sure how long it’d last. I knew it’d break me apart once again once he left, but for now, I needed him. Needed his comfort.
“After you eat...” Dawn sat my two pills on the table. No, there were three. I tilted my head. “Dr. Shaw and I agree you need a good night’s sleep. Weeks of nights of sleep. A sleeping pill to help get your body back on schedule is needed.”
Right. Sleeping pill.
I nodded.
“I know it’s early,” she went on. The sun was still out, so yeah, I guess so. “But you haven’t slept in weeks. Tomorrow, you have a meeting with Dr. Shaw, and Jasper offered to take you.”
Didn’t I already have a meeting with her tomorrow? I think I shrugged. Maybe I just blinked.
“I will be taking you.” He didn’t leave any other options. “And then maybe you could help me pick out some paint colors.”
Not likely,I thought, but snuggled deeper into Jasper’s hold.
I closed my eyes, ready to sleep right there. If only they’d let me.
“Open.” A tap to my mouth got me to open wide enough for a spoon. The soup was warm, but not too hot, as Jasper fed me.
