There was a moment where everything and everyone disappeared. I felt like I was floating as the simple white pill took full effect.
I never felt like this with other pills. It was almost pleasant. The pain faded away, as did the entire world.
“Come on, up you get.”
Huh?
Through blurry slitted eyes, I peeked at Sir. Was he talking to me?
He moved the blanket from my lap, then cursed. Only to say something that I didn’t catch.
Then, I was flying in the air. My head ended up flopping against his shoulder as part of my body was pressed tightly against his chest.
Oh. I liked this.I hummed, letting my eyes slip closed.
“Does he have anything else?” Sir’s voice was right by my ear. I heard someone, I think Nathen,answer. Then there was something like a growl before Sir began to walk.
I let my eyes stay closed as Sir walked down the stairs. There were more voices. Brighter lights. But none of it mattered as long as I was in Sir’s arms. He was here.
“I… a good boy,” I slurred, trying to press closer to Sir.
Then, there was a frigid chill over my form, causing me to shiver. At that moment, I cried out in pain.
“Shh. It’s okay, boy. I got you.”
I sniffed, trying not to sob. I wanted the pill to stay, to keep the pain away.
“P-p-p-please.”
Not soon enough, I was placed inside a warm car. As my butt touched the seat, my hands had other ideas. They held onto Sir’s shirt.
“I’m good. I’ll be good. Please. Please. I’ll do whatever. Please. I-“
“Quiet.” The one single word made my mouth snap shut.
“Good boy.” A hand ran across the top of my head before it was gone, and the door closed.
The tears wouldn’t stop, no matter what I did, so I leaned my head back against the seat.
Right as I get my thoughts in order and fight to calm my racing heart, the driver’s side door opened. With it comes a gust of cold air. This time, I just breathed through the tremors that racked my body.
“Let’s get you home, boy.” Sir’s words were soft, filled with something I couldn’t place. I wanted to latch onto his voice, let it ground me. But as the car started and backed out of the driveway, the pill finally kicked in, and sleep took me hostage.
***
It was too much work. Sir’s voice was reaching me through the haze, yet my body refused to move. I knew if I moved anything at all, the pain would come back. The fear and defeat, too.
Sir wasn’t really here. He didn’t want me. All I felt was pure disappointment. I wasn’t good enough. I hadn’t catered to Sir’s needs. So, he sent me away.
“Come on, boy. I can’t carry both of you at the same time. You gotta wake up for me.”
Two? That made no sense.
Forcing my eyes open as a gust of cold whipped around me, I tried to figure out what the heck was going on. How did I get in a car? And why…Sir…what?
“Come on.” He repeated gently, holding a hand out. “You will walk on your own to my door.”
Uh…no, I wouldn’t. My feet were invisible. I couldn’t feel my toes move, so they weren’t there.
