“Sorry.” Noah’s voice was low, no more than a whisper.
I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep pretending for too much longer. I was only so strong, even for Noah.
I glanced up as the soft click of the door echoed in the room. I didn’t look up farther than Beckett’s hips, but I knew it was him.
How many times did this man have to see me at my worst? Wasn’t he tired of my issues? It wasn’t like he really knew me anyway, yet he kept popping up everywhere.
“Did that man hurt you at all, Asher?” Beckett’s voice was quiet but left no room for me to lie.
I shook my head.
“Are you sure?” Noah asked, taking a seat and folding his legs over one another in front of me.
“I’m sure.” I wasn’t positive they could hear me, but I wasn’t going to repeat the words. I was scared that if I opened my mouth to talk again, either I’d break down into a sobbing fit, or word vomit.
Either was likely, and neither was needed.
“He did something, though.” Noah, again.
I shot him a look before dropping my eyes back to the water I held in my hand. How the hell could I explain to him of all people that I could read others better than any cop or judge could? I knew a criminal before the words could be spoken. I knew a horrible person before they could utter a single word.
For so long, that was my job. To read others and know what they wanted in one single look. It took me forever to stop reading into things after I was out of that situation. But it was something that would forever follow me around, no matter how much time was to pass.
But, no. That man wasn’t out to exactly hurt me, per se. He wasn’t safe, but yet he wasn’t there to just seek me out. I just happened to be the one that caught his eye.
“It’s my fault, okay? Just drop it.” I breathed the words, dejected.
“Why do you think it’s your fault?” Beckett asked, edging a bit closer to where I sat.
I leaned my head against the wall, at least not freaked about him being in a closed room with me. Maybe it was just Noah, though, that kept me from freaking out again over something that was stupid.
“I shouldn’t have come here.” I was better off staying as far away from this place and the likes of these types of people. I’d stick to the munchies. They were safe.
“Wish you’d have told me you were coming. We’d have come together then.”
I shook my head at Noah’s words. “Was last minute thing.” One I wouldn’t make again any time soon.
I took another gulp of water, hoping it’d be enough to settle whatever was inside of me so I could go. Never to return.
My desires were better off being left buried deep into the sand, never to be thought of again.
“Were you meeting someone?” Beckett asked, which caused me to lift my head to see him a bit better.
Me, meeting someone? That thought was laughable.
“No.” I let my head thunk against the wall again. Then, before he could ask, because I knew it was coming, I went on. “I...don’t know why I came.” A lie, one that didn’t sit well in my gut. “I wanted to do something, and ended up here.”
“If you were looking for Oscar, he’s not here tonight.”
I wasn’t, but maybe a part of me was.
I just shrugged, knowing he saw through my lie, but didn’t call me on it. I briefly wondered what would happen if he did, though.
After a few more minutes, I pushed myself away from the wall. “Sorry about that.” About making a fool of myself. For making them worry. For being here. For being-
“It’s perfectly okay to feel uncertain or nervous,” Beckett said. “That’s why the wristbands here are in use, and that Dom should have respected your answers.”
“I didn’t say anything to him, so how could he?” The words were out before I could stop them. “He didn’t know I wasn’t interested.” A shiver wracked me, causing an instinct to wrap the blanket a bit tighter around my shoulders.
