He led the way around the corner, where we were still in sight of everyone, but also gave us the privacy he wanted.
I stopped when he did, hands fiddling together before me. I hoped he’d just let me down and not drag it out. Then, I could make my way out and forget today ever happened.
“Look at me, sweetheart.” His voice was soft enough that I didn’t want to disobey.
I slowly lifted my eyes before my chin followed. His pale eyes were full of something I couldn’t grasp.
When had been the last time I stood in front of a Dom, knowing I looked more like a teenager than an adult? This man held himself like any normal man would, much taller than my small barely there five-foot frame.
“What has you frightened?”
I swallowed, giving myself a moment to gather my words.
“I’m not scared, exactly.” I glanced away but returned my eyes back to him when he cleared his throat in warning. “I haven’t done anything.” Not like this, anyhow. “Honesty is the best way to go,” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know how I’ll react to doing anything other than watching. With just sitting back, I know I can walk out at any time, and won’t make a fool of myself. With the...certain things I’ve lived through, my reaction could be anywhere on any certain scale. I don’t know if something as simple as rope will set me off. Or maybe it’s a phrase or a way someone looks at me.”
“You’re being cautious,” he hummed. “I understand, and respect that. But how will you ever find out how far you can go if you never try?”
I shrugged, letting my eyes finally fully drop from his.
I was twenty years old and had yet to do anything that boarded any of the boundaries that were there. It was easier to play it safe than risk an unwanted outcome.
“I won’t push, but the offer is there.” He paused long enough for the words to settle. “I would only bind your arms in front of you, explaining every step I was taking. If it’s too much, there are safe words for a reason. You do have those, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t that stupid. “The stoplight system.” It was overused, but I wasn’t sure my brain could function or think of another word if I was about to panic.
Panicking in the middle of a scene was more likely to happen, no matter where or who I was with. That, right there, wasn’t something I wanted my best friend to see me. My panicking would set him off. But, I kinda wanted him to be here, too.
“Noah would be perfect for you. He wants to try ropes.”
“And who would that be?” The man tilted his head, slightly amused.
“My best friend. Who should be here today. He’d be better than I am.” Why was I still trying to talk myself out of this?
“I’ll ignore that for now.” With a finger on my chin, my gaze was lifted up once more. I wasn’t sure what he saw, but whatever it was, it made his eyes soften any more.
I didn’t want his pity.
“I’m not asking you to sub for me, but will you volunteer your time for the demo?”
“I-I-I’ll do it.” My heart pounded too fast as something took hold.
Chapter 16
“Afternoon, all. As many of you know, I’m Oscar. My helper today is Asher, as some of you know.” He pointed towards where I stood, gaze down.
This was a part of all this that I was used to. I could handle eyes on me. I could handle the whispers, too. Being the center of attention had once been the norm for me. Yet, as I stood, I could feel a bead of sweat tickle down my neck.
“What’s your safe words, sweetheart?” The question was only for me to hear. I answered just as quietly, afraid to talk any louder. “Color right now?”
“Green.”
I could do this. Mind over matter, or so Scarlett would have told me.
Turning back to the audience, which wasn’t all that far away, Oscar, now that I would hopefully remember his name, addressed them. “I’m going to explain, step by step, how to do simple bondage techniques. First off, it’s always important to have safe words, no limits, and have a pair of scissors close by at all times.”
Oscar walked around me, trailing a hand along the bare skin of my arms while doing so. “With rope, also known as Shabari, is a form of art. I can make my desired human a masterpiece, immobile to move. But with it, comes touch. Touch is a way to reach a soul, soothe a person, and show all the ways something like this can be good.”
He was behind me, both hands trailing down my arms. His touch was sure and firm, coaxing me to lose some of the anxiety that was trying to take over me.
