What was I? I had no freaking clue. I shrugged, trying to pull myself out of the fog before I happened to say something I shouldn’t.
“He’s my Ashie,” Noah supplied, pressing a kiss along my jaw before stepping back. It took my mind a moment to register that he was the one who had been drying my legs off.
Beckett hummed, finishing to dry off my body. I kept my eyes down, afraid to look at either of them. I feared I’d say something that they didn’t need to know. Now wasn’t the best time, if at all, to let my dirty secrets out in the open.
“Lift.” A tap on a leg got me to move it. Then the process was repeated, as Beckett knelt in front of me, slipping up a pair of shorts up my legs. I wasn’t sure if he missed the underwear on purpose, or because he happened to find my lace ones and didn’t want to touch them. Which was whatever. I didn’t care.
Once the material was around my waist, my body decided it had enough. It fell forward before I could stop myself, falling into Beckett who stood up just in time.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, but didn’t have the strength to push off of him.
“Almost done,” he shushed. “Then we’ll get you some food.”
I think I nodded, but it was hard to tell when my head landed on his chest. His heartbeat was loud against my ear, coaxing whatever I may say to disappear.
“Good boy. So good for me.”
With those whispered words, sure that Noah wasn’t able to hear them, my body fell more into Beckett’s hold. Now, there was no way I could push away as I soaked up whatever this man had to offer. I could be weak for him just a little longer.
I’d deal with the aftermath of that later. That list of later was growing a bit too much, but again, I added that to the list, too.
I just wanted to be, and if Beckett was offering that, I was stupid to not accept.
Chapter 42
Too full to take another bite, I pushed the bowl a bit away from me before laying my head down on the table.
The chicken noodle soup was better than anything I could cook out of a can in a long while. Although, I was pretty sure that it hadn’t come from a can.
Noah had chatted a bit through the meal while I only offered one or two-word answers. It took too much work to do much else.
I watched tiredly as Beckett took my mostly empty bowel away, along with Noah’s, to the sink to clean up. Any of the words spoken went right over my head, too unfocused to try to figure out what either of them was saying.
My mind was still partially in the bathroom, soaking up the care that I had longed for. There were many things I craved, but such care that was given seemed to be the most prominent thing on my mind. I wanted more of it. Wanted it as badly as air to breathe. I wanted to be told what to do, and not have to worry about what came next.
“Asher?” I slowly blinked the world back into focus as my name was repeated. It seemed like Beckett had been trying to get my attention for a little while. “Tired?”
I somehow nodded. But hadn’t I slept enough? Why were the pills still holding on for so long? It was late in the afternoon, easily over twenty-four hours since I took the first one.
A glass of water and two pain relievers sat on the table, so I took them, hoping that they’d kick in soon to ease some of the achiness that didn’t want to leave.
“Noah went to go put on a movie. How about you venture that way and find a comfortable place to rest.”
“Kay.” I would do that....when I could get my body to get the message. It sounded like a better idea to just stay right where I was.
“If you sleep right there, you’ll hurt your neck.” Beckett’s warning got my body to move, even though it didn’t want to. “Water or Sprite?”
“Water?” I didn’t care.
“Alright. Go get settled, darlin’.”
I found Noah sitting on the couch, a blanket loosely covering his legs and his favorite stuffed animal resting on his lap. A movie was ready to be shown on the TV, but I knew it wouldn’t keep my attention.
I could maybe pretend, at least, for a few minutes though. So I took a seat on the floor, once again on top of the makeshift bed since it had yet to be taken care of. Almost instantly, Noah’s hand was in my hair, lightly pulling me towards his knee. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but I didn’t dare move. His knee pressed into my head at an odd angle.
It took Beckett just a matter of minutes to get us all drinks, hand them to me and Noah, and then take his seat. I shifted enough to lean more against him, seeking him out more and more. I just wanted a few more minutes of his gentleness before I got my walls back up.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be weak enough. How much more care could these two offer me before I knew I had to take a step back? Could I make it last another day? Two? Seven?
