For as young as he was, he was far stronger than I’d ever been.
“Where is he?” I asked, my voice strained.
“Safe.” The repeated word just about made my blood boil. “If he weren’t, I’d have gone and gotten him myself.”
That was true. Theo was what everyone like to call a hero. And he truly was. If it weren’t for him, the men who had taken me, along with a handful of other people, would have never been found.Wewould have never been found.
Days after Judah had been sold––or so I assumed it had been days since there was no screaming above the cells. Then again, it could have been weeks. I really have no fucking clue because time stood still when you were held captive. But I digress. Just days after he was taken from our cell there was a flurry of activity and blinding lights, which were soon followed by an abundance of questions and hospital visits.
And panic attacks. Let’s not forget the panic attacks.
God––the panic attacks nearly did me in. They were far worse than anything that had been done to my body. At least when I was being beaten to within an inch of my life, I had control over my thoughts. During a panic attack, I didn’t have control of anything. My thoughts simply went everywhere except where I wanted. Not to mention, the pounding heart and feeling like death for hours afterwards.
“Okay. Thanks.” It was hard to get the two words out through the lump in my throat.
“You know I’d have done it either way, brother. I wish you’d have just asked sooner.”
Truth be told, I’d thought about it a number of times, but I never had the guts to ask. Deep down, I feared that the kid was dead, never to be found again. And I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to know that kind of truth. I still wasn’t. But if Theo said Judah was safe, then I knew he was okay.
For the time being.
“The minute I show up, I want that info.”
A wide smile spread across his face like a Cheshire cat. “Say hi to Mom first, then I’ll hand it over.”
“Deal.”Why the fuck does my brother look like he just won the lottery with that stupid ass grin of his?
Judah
With a groan, I leaned my head back and looked up into the sky. My heart was going a million miles an hour and no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to shake the dream. Or the three simple words that would forever haunt my memories.
‘Take me instead’.
Why would a complete stranger be so willing to offer themselves to be taken instead of just letting me go?
A shiver wracked my body as I forced myself to remain in the present. It had taken me years before I was able to keep my thoughts locked away. And I had no intention of breaking down now. Not after everything I’d already endured.
I was still standing by sheer will alone.
With one last breath, I shook away the feelings that plagued my subconscious and secured them under lock and key behind the wall I’d erected in the furthest recesses of my mind. That was how I coped, how I kept going. I had no other choice. I had to keep myself closed off, even before my world crashed down around me.
“You good, kiddo?” My boss peered around the corner of the break room, his light brown eyes filled with worry and helplessness. I’m sure I looked like I’d just rolled out of bed and walked into work this morning.
Though to be fair, I did basically do just that.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I cocked my head to the side, pretending to be the man he expected me to be–the man the world expected–while hoping beyond hope that he couldn’t see my red eyes.
“You seem–never mind,” he shook his head dismissively. “If you’re good, let’s go ahead and get back to work.” Lips drawn into a thin line, I nodded stiffly.
I wasn’t exactly working by choice. Especially not here, of all places. I only took the job because I knew the guy who owned it and he felt sorry for me after hearing about what had happened. In a way, his pity helped. It got me a job, at least.
The moment I stepped inside, the bright colors of the various comics assaulted my eyes. As did the dingy yellow walls that were in desperate need of a new paint job, which I’d been tasked with clearing off so that we could do just that.
Nick followed close behind, turning up the music a notch with a little extra pep in his step as I went back to finish what I’d been paid to do. With more care than I knew I had in me, I removed each poster from the wall and neatly placed them in a single pile.
The song changed and I sighed before moving on to the next poster. Hulk, I think it was. I really had no clue, nor did I actually care. The next poster was that of G.I. Joe dressed in all his gear, while saving some poor girl from a knife.
The poster reminded me of Zeek, my own personal hero. I still didn’t understand why he’d offer himself up without a care for the fact that he could have died in my name. My only hope was that he was somehow still alive.But if he isn’t….I sniffed, blinking back the tears welling in my eyes. No, I wasn’t going to go there again. I couldn’t. Like my therapist told me nearly every time I went to see her…it was time for me to move on. My past needed to stay where it was–in the past. All I was doing by letting it to fester was allowing it to hold me down.
