“No one will hold it against you, Emery. You didn’t have a choice. It all falls on Steven’s shoulders. Not yours.”
Emery pushed himself to sit up before curling against my side.
“It was either I kill him, or I’d have to watch Steven do it, and it wouldn’t have been quick. He’d have drawn it out.” He took a deep breath. His voice was even quieter when he spoke the next words. “Enzo knew. He told me to do whatever I had to do to stay alive.”
With an arm wrapped tightly around him, I gently squeezed him tighter against me.
“He’d be happy you made it out, then.”
“Yeah. I wish he was here with me. How can I live without him?”
“We’ll figure out a way. One day at a time.”
“What if I can’t…live on my own?”
“Good thing you have me. I’ll help you for as long as you need it.” I meant every word of it, too. Emery had no one, and there was no way I’d be able to live with myself if he was on his own.
“I don’t know how to live without him.” The whispered confession shot straight to my heart. “You remind me of him.” He tilted his head so he could see my face. “He was there like you. Making sure I took care of myself.”
“Is that why you were willing to come here to stay?”
“Partly.” He sighed, then moved back to using my lap as a pillow. Once he deemed himself comfortable, he spoke up again. “Icanread people well. You won’t hurt me.”
Well, he had me there. I’d never lift a finger in anger at him. It wasn’t possible. The small fact that this person was making a huge impact in my life was just the topping.
Emery
Once again, that night I found myself crawling into Ryker’s bed. Neither of us spoke a word as he lifted the covers for me. It was as though he expected me to come to him.
Little did he know, I’d always do just that.
This man was becoming more to me than either of us had ever thought possible.
Every day that passed, my trust in him grew. He’d never hurt me; that I was absolutely sure of. Ryker was someone who… well…if things were different, I’d be able to be myself with him.
Whoever that was now.
I pressed myself closer to Ryker’s warmth as he wrapped me tight in his arms. Finally, my breath came easier.
Having woken up from a nightmare yet again, I’d only wanted his arms wrapped around me.
“Nightmares?”
I hummed in agreement.
I wasn’t sure if seeing Enzo on a piece of paper, even if the fancy computers these days could make him still seem so alive, made things worse or better for me. I guess all it really did was let me know that there was no chance he was alive out there.
“How…” I paused, swallowing. My throat was dry from crying. “Does Steven think I’m dead?”
“Most likely.” Ryker’s voice was filled with sleep, and it made me feel fuzzy inside. The good kind. “The feds are good at making false death certificates for witness protection. You’ll never have to worry about that man getting to you again.”
“Okay.” The inner workings may not be my thing to understand, but knowing that evil man couldn’t get to me helped soothe my nerves somewhat.
It was too much work to think to a future time when I could walk out the front door and feel safe. I would forever be looking over my shoulder. No amount of therapy would help me there, I was sure of it.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Ryker grunted.
“Sorry.”
