He sent Zevon in to find me, and I was ready to die.
“I wish I could have done things differently, but I think we’d have had the same outcome either way. I can’t go back in time and change things, even though I’d like to.”
“Lisa would have still died,” I said, looking back down at my lap.
“Most likely. She died to protect you. Of that I have no doubt. She loved you, nipotina. How could she not? You are one of a kind, and I hope you can see that.”
Would I have changed how things ended up? Yes and no.
“I wish Alan never got his hands on me,” I whispered, feeling two tears leak down my cheeks.
“You aren’t the only one.”
My head was filled with a fuzzy haze. I knew what was coming, and I didn’t want to face it. I wanted to leave this room and forget this day ever happened. I would almost have rather been back in front of Alan than be in the same room as this man. He sat in a chair farthest from me. I wondered if Dr. Mayes had warned him to keep his distance for now. Either way, I was thankful.
My knees were pulled to my chest, which expanded with each inhale. I was fighting off the impending doom that I knew was going to hit—and hit hard. My stomach twisted at just the thought.
“Caesar,” Dr. Mayes started, explaining everything once again about this being my safe place. I let her take control once more. Right now, words would have failed me. I was having enough trouble just breathing and trying to stay in the present.
“How did you handle losing a daughter when you found out she was missing?”
“I was beside myself,” he said. He moved to lay one foot over a knee. “Devastated. I...my little girl was gone forever. When I was able to move on, I believed that someday I’d at least find her body, and that we would get some kind of closure.”
“Did you know that Ace may have found her?”
“He mentioned the possibility, but between him and my wife, they were always coming up with scenarios that she was still alive. I had to have proof, and even then it wasn’t enough. Not when I was so sure she was no longer breathing.”
“What did you do when she was found?”’
“I don’t think either one of you need to know what I did then,” he said, a dark laugh bubbling forth. “Ace wouldn’t let me near her, and for a good reason.”
“Scarlett, how do you feel about that?” Dr. Mayes asked, trying to draw me into the conversation.
I shrugged.
“He wouldn’t let anyone see her, actually. Only Collin, since he was her doctor.”
“She mentioned that.”
“He views her as a niece. And I’m not sure about Zevon’s intentions.”
“He’s a friend,” I said, my voice barely heard.
“He seems to care deeply,” Dr. Mayes said. “How do you view her, Caesar?”
“What do you mean? She’s my daughter.”
“Do you treat her as a daughter?”
“Well, sure.”
”Have you tried to get to know her? Listened to what she wants? Or even thought about what she may be going through and how she sees you as a person?”
Caesar let out a sigh and leaned forward, rubbing his face. “I know she doesn’t see me as a father. I have no connection to her.” His eyes met mine briefly before I dropped mine again. “And I have to admit, I haven’t tried.”
“Scarlett, do you want him to try?”
Instead of answering, I stood and paced to the window. I had to move, hoping to ease off the panic. With each passing moment, I could feel it crawling right underneath my skin. It itched like it was trying to seep out of me. I knew if I spoke, words wouldn't come out. It’d be whatever was in my stomach.
