Judah walked a few feet in front of me, his feet dragging along the ground. It only took a couple strides before I overtook him, causing him to halt in his escape. His eyes darted to mine, wide in both surprise and confusion.
“Meet me later tonight. At the bar?” I questioned.
“O–Okay.” I could physically see the relief wash over him.
Without a word, I pulled him to my chest and wrapped both my arms around him. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” he laughed. “I’m just…I’m just feeling a bit emotional, I guess.”
“Everything okay?” Eli eyes bounced from Judah to me and back again. Pulling back slightly, I looked into Jude’s eyes and for the first time since he’d begun packing his bags, he didn’t seem quite so sad. I figured it was because we had plans to meet up later and he didn’t have to worry about when he would see me again.
Orifhe would see me again.
I nodded. “All’s well.” Judah took a deep breath and stepped backwards with a soft smile. As my arms fell back to my side, I was suddenly left feeling cold and alone.
“Good to see you again, Zeek.” I clamped my lips tight as Eli gave me a nod in greeting before pulling Jude in for a quick hug. Seeing that one simple touch sent a rush of jealousy tearing through every pore in my body.
What in the fuck is wrong with me?I mentally chastised, turning my gaze toward the ground in an attempt to hide what I was feeling. Realistically, I knew I had no right to feel the way I did. But that did nothing to curb the possessiveness I felt over a kid I had been held captive with. It wasn’t like Judah was mine.
Eli leaned in and whispered something to Judah, who turned to give me a slight smile and wave before making his way to the car. Once he was out of earshot, Eli took a few intimidating steps towards me. “If you ever hurt my friend…”
“I won’t,” I interjected, cutting off whatever threat he was about to make with words almost as deadly as his. “Of that, you can be sure. He may not know it right now, but Judah saved me.”And he’s still saving me,I thought to myself.
“Good. I must say, Destri was not exactly pleased about whatever happened between the two of you. And neither am I for that matter.”
“She shouldn’t have been talking to you about me in the first place.” I lifted my eyes to glare at him, anger replacing whatever I’d been feeling before.
“When it comes to Judah, it is my responsibility to be aware ofeverything.” I gave him a nod of understanding.
There was no use arguing with Eli about the things I chose to do in my life. Especially when I knew I would inevitably make the same choice again because I was a failure. Most likely in the very near future.
“Don’t be stupid, Zeek. Talk to Destri.”
Wiping the water droplets from my face with a towel, I took in my reflection in the bathroom mirror. One thing was for sure…I felt better than I looked. Dark circles decorated the underside of my eyes, which made me look ten years older than I actually was. However, for the first time in a long time, I actually felt accomplished.
Despite the heat of the day, I’d gone outside and mowed the entire yard. When I’d finished with that, I decided to pull all of the weeds around the house and sidewalk area. Slipping a t-shirt over the top of my head, my back protested as the material scratched at the healing wounds that still decorated my skin.
I wanted to think I wouldn’t be so stupid as to find someone to hurt me again, but I wasn’t naïve. I knew that was just a lie I tried to convince myself of. The sad truth was that I needed the pain…I needed the reminder that I had not only survived, I was still alive.
Judah would never be able to give me what I needed, not that I would ever dare ask him to do such a thing. He may appear strong to the untrained eye, but I knew that even he had a breaking point. And I feared pushing him there would be much easier than anticipated.
Despite that fact, I envied him. How could I not? Jude didn’t fear the unknown. He didn’t need ways to cope with life. He just…he lived each day to the best of his ability. That was something I wished I could do. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t as easy for me.
The sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts and caused me to sigh. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone other than Judah, but I knew that if I put it off too long, whoever was calling would show up on my doorstep. And I was even less prepared to deal with an unannounced visitor.
I reached for my phone and groaned when I saw the name plastered across the screen.
“What?” I snapped.
Mistress Destri sighed. “Can we meet? I’d like to apologize in person.” For once, her voice didn’t hold the same strong edge it normally had. To be quite honest, she seemed off, not at all herself.
“Sure,” I responded, all the heat leaving my voice. “You’ll have to come to me, though.” There was no way I could drive. Not as bone tired as I was.Perhaps doing so much yard work wasn’t the best choice. Though it was much better option than what I could have done.
“I’ll be there in ten.”
“I needed to tell you how sorry I am. I wasn’t acting like the Domme that I should have been, the Domme I know I am,” Destri began as I set a glass of water on the table in front of her, the air thick with tension.
“What was your first clue?” I deadpanned, not in the mood to beat around the bush. “You treated me as if I didn’t even matter. Though to be fair, to most I probably don’t. You also know that when I called the safe word, it was to preplace a boundary that you had crossed.”
