“Perfect,” she replied easily. “Everything will work out just fine. I can answer any questions that you have. All new moms, and even experienced ones, always have a question or two. Now, I’d like to get that ultrasound done today if possible, just to get an idea on how far along you are. You’ll need to start taking prenatal vitamins, along with making sure you take care of yourself.
“I’ll have a nurse draw some blood to check iron levels and the works while I check to see if our lab tech is in,” she finished. “Any questions?”
I shook my head, trying to grasp everything she had said.
“If you do, let me know. I’ll also have a packet of stuff for you to look and read through that will help you. Along with a pregnancy book that should also help you with anything that will come along.”
With that, she left the room, leaving me to muse over her words.
I could do this, right?
~oOo~
“Everything good?” Taylor asked as I slipped into the passenger seat of the pickup.
“Yep,” I said, still in a daze. I sat the folder of information in the space between us before buckling my seat belt.
“You okay?” he asked, turning his eyes to me. His voice was softer as he asked the question. Was he scared I was changing my mind on my reasons, on my beliefs?
“I’m pregnant,” I stated, my voice quiet.
“That is why you are here,” he said, trying to hide his amusement.
“What will I do?” I said more to myself than to him. I hated feeling so out of whack, overwhelmed, and just plain out tired.
Taylor didn’t answer me, knowing I wasn’t looking for an answer from him. Instead, he gave me a small smile and started the truck. Backing out of the parking lot and out onto the street.
“I wish he’d be here,” I muttered. “I wish Zach could experience all this. But most of all, I just wish he’d not hate the idea of having a kid.”
“I’ll be happy to tag along with you to your appointments, if you want me to, that is,” Taylor said. His words were quiet, but I heard them all the same.
“You don’t really want to,” I said, leaning my head against the window. “Plus, you have to take time off of work.”
“Have to do that anyhow,” he grunted. “I don’t mind.”
“You sure?” I asked, looking at him.
Although he was nervous and didn’t really wanting to go to every single appointment with me, he would. Not because he was obligated to keep an eye on me, but because he really did care.
“What else do I have to do?” he shrugged in an answer. “It’s what families do. I may not have been there for you when you were a child, but I sure as fuck will try now.”
“Okay,” I yawned, giving in.
I didn’t want to do this all alone if I didn’t have to. I knew that no matter how prepared I thought I was, I didn’t want to do this all without someone by my side. I knew I’d doubt my actions more than once.
I may also want my husband by my side every step of the way, but that was not an option, nor would it ever be. So, Taylor could be there if he wanted. I wouldn’t fight him.
“How about some ice cream?” he asked, bringing me out of my depressed thoughts.
“Sure,” I laughed, already liking the idea of something cold to eat. “As long as we do it after every appointment.”
“Deal,” he laughed.
I’d be okay. I had to be to prove to myself that I could do this.
This was now my life that I was stepping into with both feet. No turning back.
