Chapter 35
Avidya
“Knees should be shoulder width apart. Start by placing your knees together and then spread them apart,” Zachariah stated before pausing to let me get into the current pose he wanted me to try. It was the first pose, and apparently one of the easier ones.
I was kneeling on a silk pillow so my knees wouldn’t bruise or hurt from the position. My hands were lying palm down on my knees as I had my butt on top of my heels.
“Sometimes, the Dom will want your hands laced behind your back or behind your head, but for now, this is perfect. Shoulders back, yet relaxed,” he went on, circling me. “If your feet fall asleep, you can kneel farther up on your knees, if need be.”
Kneeling here in front of him brought back memories to the first time that I had met him, but that time I had been forced to kneel in front of this man. This time my emotions were not mixed with fear and worry. Instead, they were of impending happiness and anticipation. I was willing to be kneeling here, if only for meditation purposes. For now.
I could see myself kneeling in this exact position, giving him a blow job. Did he see that, too? Would I be at that stage soon enough to try something so thrilling as that?
“When you get more comfortable, I’d love to see how you respond with being bound,” he mused. Louder, “You can also do the face down position, which is where you rest your head down on the floor, arms outstretched while on your knees. I don’t expect you to be able to hold that pose for very long, as it will put your lower legs to sleep.”
I tried it out, letting my hands reach out above my head as I rested my forehead against the warm carpet. I could feel my body stretch, pulling out the kinks that I didn’t know were there. I could also understand why my legs would easily fall asleep in this pose.
“Of course,” he went on after another moment. “You can just sit with your legs crossed on the cushion if you prefer. But whatever pose you choose, please try to keep your shoulders back in a relaxed hold. Being stiff won’t achieve anything. The mediation is meant to relax you and let go of your thoughts.”
“I know what it is,” I stated, pushing myself up in a near mocking tone.
“Glad we got that cleared up,” he replied, a silent threat to his words. With my tone, I knew what he was hinting at.
Punishments weren’t exactly laid out all too well yet since he felt I wouldn’t need them right away. I didn’t think it’d be too bad, but I knew they would be detailed soon enough. The past few days since going over the agreement, I noticed more how his voice changed. From a demanding hint to a calm tone. His voice alone gave me the idea of how my body would react.
“I’ll leave you to do your meditation now,” Zachariah stated. “Remember, ten minutes this week.”
“I remember,” I repeated him. That fact was a bit hard to forget, but I kept my tone in check, not wanting to push him.
“Afterward, I have a bit of business to attend to. You are welcome to join me if you’d like,” he spoke.
“Where at?” I asked, looking up at him from my spot. He was so much taller from this view.
“One of my clubs. I usually only pop in once or twice a month unless needed otherwise. Travis keeps it up most of the time until he disappeared on us. Now with him back, I just need to check things over before I step back once more.”
“Oh, okay,” I said, not entirely understanding what he meant. “Sure.”
“It’s not the normal type of club you’d find,” he warned. “It’s daytime, so there shouldn’t be a whole lot going on, but it will be more than what the books you’ve read so far might have.”
“Some of those books had descriptive pictures,” I said, holding my eyes to his. “I can handle it.”
“I’m sure you can,” he smiled and ran a hand down my hair, causing my heart to skip a beat once more.
He left me then so I could finish my homework. It was strange to think of it as homework, since to me, it really wasn’t homework per say. It was a means to keep my calm and learn balance.
I sat cross-legged, my hands palm down on my knees and closed my eyes after setting the timer for ten minutes. I made sure to keep my shoulders back in the correct posture, and took deep breaths to center myself.
I knew what this was meant to achieve, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure what I expected out of it. Was I supposed to let my thoughts wonder? Or was I to clean them away and just sit here?
Now that I was thinking, my brain wouldn’t stop. I thought of what possibly Zachariah liked. Did he enjoy tying women up, making them bound and helpless? Would he do that to me in time? That thought wasn’t as scary as it should have been. A few weeks ago, it certainly would have been more than frightening and send me running.
The thought of just having my hands tied up above my head as I laid flat out on my back caused my core to throb. I felt my face heat with red at the same time. I had never dared to touch myself in such a way, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to.
Masturbation is forbidden unless your dom gave you permission the books had said, but surely if Zachariah taught me how to, it could be worth it. Surely pleasure with my soon to be husband would consist of such touching, right?
I had no idea.
When would he start with his training sessions on getting me ready? Did he expect me to be naked and waiting without any warm up?
