“Excellent.” Miles pumped his fist. “I think I found the ideal spot. There’s an abandoned corporate retreat—”
“Ooh, an abandoned retreat.” Hayes wiggled his fingers in front of his face. “Like inScooby Doo.”
“I hope not. I’m no match for those meddling kids.” Miles laughed. “Seriously though, it’s got log cabins for the families, a couple of common buildings, and a sandy waterfront. I have my heart set on it. If only it was for sale.”
“No way! That sounds perfect. We need to get the word out. Anna and I were thinking a gala in August would be a fun way to raise awareness and bring in some capital. Something big, with a camp theme.What do you think?”
“Great idea,” Miles said as the timer beeped on his digital watch. It had been his running watch in college, and he’d kept it because it reminded him of the day he’d run a sub-four mile. He shut off the burner and strained the pasta. “The seed money you and I put up can carry us some of the way, but we’ll need money to purchase a property and renovate it. I’ve signed up for fundraising and grant writing classes this fall.”
“Wow, Camp Luciole is happening, and it feels good. Right?”
Hayes was right. Their camp would provide grieving families with a comforting and nurturing space to heal, share stories, and remember loved ones. They’d experience moments of sadness, but the goal was for everyone to leave with hope, support, and coping strategies for the real world, including referrals to services in their hometowns. Miles and Hayes just needed a place.
“I can’t believe it.” Hayes wiped away a tear.
“Same. Imagine when it opens.”
Miles felt a pang of excitement and a tingle of nervousness. After his mother died, he and his father hadn’t shared their pain. In the rare moments they’d caught each other crying, they hadn’t talked. His father had patted him on the back and mumbled tocarry on. It wasn’t until Miles first met Avery over a year later that he slowly began to share his pain. But he’d been reticent to truly open up and reveal how much sorrow he held back in order to keep his composure.
Holding it in came with a price.
Ten years ago, in the days leading up to his breakup with Avery, Miles had come to dread summer’s end. Avery had been a break from his cycle of perpetual grief and in a matter of days, there would be eight states between them. Money and distance would keep them apart, not to mention his busy cross country and track schedules.
Rescuing young Max Perry unleashed an emotional logjam in Miles. Parts of that day were a blur, and others were a vivid photo montage thatstill swept through his mind at random times. Miles remembered spotting Max out in the lake and hurdling a picnic table on his way to the water. His reaction was so quick and so instinctual, that he’d heard his own heartbeat and nothing else. Supposedly, Nate was beside him, checking the child’s pulse, but Miles didn’t remember that. He recalled the Max’s first breaths, and the moment he opened his hazel eyes. Through tears, Mr. and Mrs. Perry had called Miles a hero. Everyone declared it a miracle, except for Miles. That moment confirmed his worst fear. Forever didn’t exist. Anything could be taken away at any moment. It hurt worse when it was someone you loved. Maybe not loving someone could protect him from that pain.
He’d callously discarded Avery, who was headed elsewhere anyway, pushing away the one person who kept him afloat. The nagging sense he had transformed her sunshine into rain kept him up at night for months, his chest pounding beneath what felt like a granite boulder. Racked with guilt and a swirling vortex of emotions he didn’t understand, Miles started running late at night and taking extra showers so no one would see him cry. The following spring, halfway through his last semester, he walked into Yale’s student health center at his lowest low and found therapy. Seven years later, he met Hayes at the Met Gala. Finally, a friend who had also lost his mother. Camaraderie was its own therapy. He hoped their camp provided that for others.
The roux was ready.
“I’ve never said this, but every day, you help me heal.” Miles added the milk into the pan. “And Anna Catherine too. Thank you.”
“I feel the same way about you.” Hayes wiped away another tear. Tears were okay in their friendship, not something they hid. “Anna says we should celebrate when we visit. She wants you to bring Avery.”
Miles whisked the milk and turned down the burner to let the sauce thicken. Avery coming felt possible, but not certain.
“It’d be nice if Avery came,” he said. “There’s been a tiny bit ofprogress, but we aren’t at ‘let’s celebrate with my best friends’ yet.”
“I’ll take a little progress.” Hayes pumped his fist.
“Avery was the first girl who understood me.”
“I know, man. I—hold on.” Hayes’s voice got farther away.
Miles stopped stirring. On his phone’s screen, Anna Catherine battled with Hayes for the phone. As always, she eventually won.
“Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I heard my name. And did someone say Avery?” She did a double-take and leaned closer to the screen. “Miles, are you cooking?”
“Hello, Anna.” He blew her a kiss. “This morning I caught a big trout right off my dock. It rained all afternoon, and being stuck inside made me want to cook. I’m pan searing the trout and making haricot vert and Mom’s macaroni and cheese as sides. I may dry off a chair and enjoy this alfresco. It’s a gorgeous night. The lake is a mirror. I can’t wait for your visit.”
“Only a few weeks until we spend the Fourth of July at Montressa.” Anna Catherine wriggled her shoulders in excitement. “Just so you know, I’m not coming for the fireworks. I want to meet Avery.”
Miles added the cheddar and stirred, smiling to himself. He liked the idea and hoped Avery wouldn’t leave whenBright & Earlycame to film the week before the Fourth.
“So…” Anna Catherine rested her head on Hayes’s shoulder and gave Miles a dreamy smile. “What were you saying about Avery?”
“I don’t know. When I’m alone with her, it’s great. But when other people are there, it becomes a mess. They mean well, but pressure is the last thing we need.” Miles exhaled, his lips flapping in frustration. “The inevitable jokes about my dating life make it hard to convince her I’m not the player she thinks I am. And then there’s the ribbing about our past.”
He hadn’t planned to get into this now, but Anna Catherine and Hayes were his ride-or-dies for advice.
