I roll my eyes. “Not all dom/subs practice rope play.”
“Okay, but I’m asking ifyoudo.”
“No. I don’t have any true intention of it unless he expresses interest.”
“Isn’t that fulfilling his desires though?” Felton asks.
“Doesn’t Ren fulfill your desires, Fel?” I counter.
He tilts his head to the side then grins. “He does.”
“I’m probably a soft dom, meaning I prefer communication and… trust. Emotional connection. I want his acts of service, definitely, but I also need to know his desires so I can meet them too.”
“Probably a soft dom?” Willits asks.
“Again, I haven’t lived the lifestyle. In reading about BDSM, dom/sub specifically, and knowing myself, I think that’s where I fall. Especially now that I’ve met someone that seems to also fall within this role with me. But I’ve never done a scene or so much as spoken to anyone else in the lifestyle.”
“That’s cool,” Felton says, grinning again.
“It is. I expect updates. I’m fascinated about this.”
I huff and get up again to continue our yoga. Until now, I hadn’t realized that Felton and Willits stopped when I sat down, but they join me again as I move into my next pose.
I think about Felton’s suggestion to give Shively choices. That means I need to come up with choices to offer him. They need to be fulfilling for both of us, but there also needs to be one that gives Shively an out if he wants it.
There’s a part of me that’s surprised when I realize the idea that he might not want to continue this is incredibly disappointing to the point where my chest feels tight at the thought that this relationship might have already run its course. Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from him.
I don’t actually think that’s the case though. I know how nervous he is about hockey and the possibility that we might get caught. Itwouldjeopardize our careers. Maybe his more than mine since he’s in the supervisory role.
That means I should probably end it now for his sake. Is the chance to live this lifestyle worth risking either of our jobs? There will be others. Other opportunities, other people, other times in life when the situation around us isn’t quite so… precarious.
But I don’t think I want anything with anyone else. I want Shively, and I want this now. With him. I don’t for a minute think that it was an accidental coincidence that put us in the same place at the same time, wanting the same thing. It’s not simply serendipity that presented me with the perfect sub that I’ve specifically thought about on numerous occasions.
I believe that there are times when events and people align purposefully. Shively and I attending an event where neither of us knew anyone seems a little too chance to be anything other than purposeful by design.
Who am I to push him away and ignore all the signs that Shively Myers is the man I’ve been waiting for since the momentI began longing for a submissive? That person has always had Shively’s demeanor, but until recently, the vision of that person always kept their head bowed.
Now, he’s looking up at me with beautiful blue eyes that hide a soft, sweet submissive man behind his professional exterior. He’s mine to take care of. Mine to guide. Mine to take pleasure in.
I think he knows this too. That’s why he sought me out on the mountain by the lake. He knows he’s mine. He knows he comes to me when he wants something.
Shively knows what he wants, even if he’s too afraid to say it out loud.
CHAPTER 8
SHIVELY
It’s been morethan two weeks since the trip to the lake. My activities with Dasan aside, it’s probably one of my favorite memories in a long time. The way my team came together was beautiful to watch.
They’re friends now. Their chatter in the locker room isn’t just about hockey. It’s that of friends catching up, teasing, laughing.
On the ice, their new connections shine brightly, too. They’re doing really well, and I’m incredibly proud of the team they’ve become. Their confidence in themselves and each other is evident every time they step onto the ice.
I can’t wait for the season to begin.
Except that my heart is constantly in my throat becauseDasan. I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop wanting him. It might be to the point where I think Ineedhim now.
Why can’t he just show up and tell me to get on my knees for him?
