“Arush.” His words cut off, and he meets my eyes. “Please, do it. I should have asked far before you got here and I didn’t think of it until now. I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head.
“Let’s begin with the basics. Whatdon’tyou eat? Allergies?”
“I don’t eat beef. I don’t have allergies that I know about.”
“Okay. How do you feel about pigs? Will you eat a pig?” He makes a face and I laugh. “Bacon. Ham. Pork chop. Any of that appealing?”
“Uh… bacon, sometimes.”
“Okay. Let’s begin your breakfast. There are English muffins and bagels in the bread box there. Grab whichever you like.” I turn for the fridge and grab a couple eggs from the door, a couple options of cheese, and a couple slices of bacon from the food container.
“Bacon, egg, and cheese is what I’m thinking. Do you like avocado? I have some slices that we can stick on there.”
“Yes.”
“Cool.” I grab the container of avocado slices and join him at the counter. He’s chosen a bagel. I fish out the necessary trays and bowls needed for the all-in-one air fryer and beginassembling. “Are you famished or just a normal morning hungry?”
Arush shakes his head. “Normal, I think.”
I choose a single egg for the little metal dish and then lay out everything on the different racks in the air fryer so it all cooks together.
“Ignore the first beeps. It’s just telling you to flip everything, but it’s not necessary for this meal. You can assemble how you want when it comes out. There’s fruit in the fridge and on the counter there.” His eyes flicker to the bowl. “There are also a couple boxes of cereal in the pantry if you want an artificial sugar fix and three different kinds of milk in the fridge.”
“Why so many?” he asks as I head for the door with my protein shake.
“I use them for different things. If I blend my protein shake with fruit, I use coconut milk. I like the flavor. For baking or cooking, I tend to use cow’s milk or buttermilk.” Once again, Arush makes a face and I laugh. “I also have almond milk. Make sure you make that list, Arush. Promise?”
He nods. “Yes.”
I stare at him for a minute. I’m not sure what makes me warn him, but I feel the need to do so. “Don’t touch anything in the air fryer. It’s hot. There are tongs in the drawer to your right and potholders in the drawer under the silverware by the fridge.”
His eyes ping-pong around as I tell him. “Okay.”
“You going to be all right here?”
He nods again.
“I’ll be back soon.”
More nodding. I can tell he’s nervous and unsettled. I should have gotten up earlier to make sure he had something to eat. I’ve taken as much time as I can though. If I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.
“Text me if you need anything. I probably won’t answer but I’ll read it once I’m off the ice.”
Nodding.
Without knowing what else to say, I turn for the entry just as the first beeps fill the kitchen. I catch Arush jumping at the noise just as I’m turning and smile. I slip into my shoes as I pull my beanie over my head. Then my jacket.
“Don’t leave the condo,” I call. “I haven’t added you to the lease yet so they may not let you in again. We can head to the grocery store when I get back and stop at admin on the way to get you added. Okay?”
“Okay,” Arush calls back. I see him peek down the hall at me and I smile. I’m relieved when I receive one in return.
Maybe this’ll work out.
As it has all week, the drive to the arena has not been the transition into hockey brain that it usually is. The hope I felt just yesterday is fighting to stay afloat. A quiet promise that if I allow myself to explore something with Arush, then maybe the happy home I imagined when signing up for a mail-order spouse—maleorder!—can still happen.
What does it matter if he’s a guy? Moments between Keno and Etna flash through my mind as I slowly make my way through traffic. Their happiness. Their friendship—how it began and how it evolved. But it always remained too. I loved their laughter and how they looked at each other.
