“No. What it means is that there are already some built-in obstacles because you’ve met him here. It’s serendipitous that he’s also staying for the summer and he’s here alone. That he randomly walked in front of our bungalow and stopped in a way that made you concerned enough to make sure he’s okay. You have some interesting things in common with him, as you relayed about your first conversation on the beach that evening. I think the fact that you met without any expectations is what makes this so different. I think because you commiserated about some hard truths together right away, you had some common ground to build on.”
“But the summer will end,” Alka says. “Then what?”
“I think we have just over a month before we need to truly think about that. There are two options, right? You have this month to continue to get to know each other and build on these feelings blossoming between you two. At the end of the month, you’re going to know whether you want to continue to explore this relationship or not. If so, there’s the challenge we already anticipate, right? Long distance. If not…” I don’t need to finish the scenario. It goes without saying. If it’s just a summer fling, then it will remain here on Kala.
I’m not inclined to believe the latter “if” though. I’ve seen Alka’s flings. They begin hot and heavy and fizzle out quitequickly. He’s not much for sex outside of relationships. That’s how I know when someone will be a fling versus when he’s more serious about someone. From Alka’s recap of his time with Ruby, there’s been nothing but sweet, parting kisses and the occasional hand holding.
This is the pace Alka moves when he’s serious about someone. His heart calls the shots, not his dick, though it’s not a conscious choice. He’s never aware that his pace with different people is a tell for how he feels about them. Honestly, I’m surprised that he kissed Ruby at the end of their first meeting. If it hadn’t been for his tone, I’d have written this one off too.
The building of our own relationship was like molasses. It was the ultimate edging experience for a very long time, but I don’t regret it at all. I have the love of my life, the person I love more than anything in this entire world, and I’d wait an eternity for him.
“Okay, let’s talk about something else. I didn’t mean to dominate this evening with talk of another man,” Alka says.
“I love to hear you talk about who you’re seeing,” I assure him. “It lets me get to know him before you’re ready to introduce him, and I love that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he says, kissing my neck. “But I feel a little guilty for doing it, so let’s just talk about something else.”
“Okay. What do you have in mind?”
“Our house. I’ve been thinking about growing our family since our conversation, and I don’t think our house is going to work.”
I’m a little surprised he’s bringing this up. I would have thought he’d put the baby thing on hold until he sees where this is going with Ruby.
“Okay,” I say. “How not?”
“For starters, it’s a three bedroom. We’ve always talked about having two or three kids, right?” I nod. “That means we’re short one room at minimum, and we like to have a guest room for ourfamilies’ visits so we’re limited to one kid right now. And…if… someone joins us, I also think our bedroom suite is a little small for three people.”
He really has been thinking about this. I smile. “Okay, so we find a five-bedroom house. Or do you want to start where we are and find something bigger as we begin to grow out of our space?”
“Actually, I want our kids to have a home that they always know is home. One where all their childhood memories take place. So I think we should find a home before we start having kids. Maybe a five bedroom with an unfinished basement. Something with a spacious backyard and a second building that you can turn into a studio.”
“Without a pool,” I say.
Alka shakes his head. “I think it’s important that wehavea pool and teach our kids to swim as early as possible. Teach them pool and water safety. The number of kids that drown each year is terrifying, and we can mitigate that by teaching them to swim early on.”
“Okay, that’s a little scary, but we can do that.” I think about the other part of this. The second building. “You think it’s a good idea that I have a studio at our house?”
“That depends on you and your comfort,” Alka says. He adjusts in my hold, so he can look into my eyes. My hand slides down his thigh as I bring him closer to me. “This clearly still bothers you, huh?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I guess… It’s probably going to be one of those things where until I hear the words ‘your baby is on the way’ in whatever form that comes, I’m not going to know how I really feel about it. Imagining it is one thing. I think when I’m faced with the reality of bringing our child into our lives, I might think differently.”
“What are you feeling about it right now?”
“I think that I need to diversify my income,” I say. “I’m stillnot sure if this is coming from outside pressure, but I don’t know that I feelgoodabout continuing my current profession while raising kids. I keep wondering how it’s going to affect them as they get older.”
“You understand that it’s out there on the internet forever, right?Eventually, someone will point out that their father created porn. I don’t think hiding it from them is going to be smart at all.”
“No, I know that. But don’t you think it’s… better to keep it in the past? You know, a sowing-wild-oats-in-my-youth kind of deal or something?”
“No. I think it’s hot that you’re pushing forty and your dick is as coveted as it is,” Alka says with a smirk.
“Do you?” I ask, sliding my hand further up his thigh and under his shorts to rub him. “You think that’s hot, huh?”
“Super sexy,” he says, nodding. “I also think if you’re proud of it and make sure our kids understand why you’re proud, then they will grow up understanding that there’s nothing shameful about sex.”
I sigh and lean my head back, closing my eyes while I rub my husband’s generous dick, encouraging it to harden for me. “I’m going to need some parenting books to begin studying.”
Laughing, Alka moves in my lap so his back is against my chest, allowing him to spread his legs for me. “I want to raise our kids to have an open mind. To take the time to do some research and form their own opinions. But in that, I don’t want them to look at anything as gross or shameful or fuckingsinfuljust because it’s not ‘what everyone’s doing.’ Even then, I keep thinking, what if they form their own opinion and think that anyway?”
