My whole experience here is really kind of strange. I expected my encounters to be the other way around. “Uh, hey. Wanna suck my cock?” Yes, I’m picturing a himbo. It’s enough that I nearly smile as I push open the door to the hut.
The huts are actually like little office buildings with a thatch roof to make them look more tropical. The walls are lined with “offices,” if you will, that are private. I choose an open door and lock myself inside.
I sit in front of the computer, and for a minute, I stare out the window beyond. There’s a couple walking by holding hands. I don’t know why, but I swear I can see little hearts bouncingaround them like I’m reading a comic book. Is it in the way they keep looking at each other? In their smiles? How they naturally wander around as if they’re the only ones here?
My heart clenches in my chest, and I take a breath.
I think I just realized why hooking up doesn’t hold any appeal. I want that right there. I want to fall in love with someone who loves me just like those two obviously love each other. Like Lix and Noah love each other.
As I watch them walk by, I realize that I was surrounded by happy relationships on theOpulence. Max and Deryke, the Buffalo trio—Ethan, Jakub, and Creed—the quiet guy that my brother often hung around with last year, Owen Vincent from the New York hockey team has a new boyfriend too. Oh, and Larson and his diva husband Dylan.
There were far more single guys on theOpulence, but… Those in love just kind of stood out.
Sighing, I turn my attention to the computer. I think my goal for this trip can’t be falling in love. Clearly, I have some issues attracting the right sort of guys, and I’m not sure I trust myself to find someonenotlike Trevor. Arguably, there are more people unlike him than like him, but… The fact that I found theoneabusive guy out of the hundreds of guys on the Marley Coast campus doesn’t give me a lot of confidence in my life choices.
No, my goal still needs to be learning to connect with people again. How do you strike up a conversation and keep it running without awkwardness? Maybe I should have been practicing that on the yacht.
I log in to my email first and find an email chain between Rainbow Dorset University and Lix. I read it from the start to see that they were asking for clarification on a few items—financing, one of my transcripts that wouldn’t open, living accommodations, whether I’d need a meal plan, and information about my interest in soccer.
I nearly choke on my tongue when Lix volunteers Gabe as an endorsement. Of course the school is all on board with aprofessional MLS playerputting in a good word for me. Fuck. I cringe as I read it, especially when Gabe appears in the email chain for a short exchange, giving me a glowing recommendation and talking up my skills. He offers to speak to the coach personally too.
“Oh my god,” I mutter. “I’m going to hell for this.”
Once I get to the end of the chain, in which the assistant coach of RDU’s soccer team sets up a phone meeting with Gabe for a later date, I nearly close out of my emails entirely. But I see another one from Lix, so I open it and hope that it’s not more horror.
Hey, Roux. I know you’re probably freaking out right now about me getting Gabe involved. However, please trust that I know what I’m doing. He will give them an honest endorsement concerning your skills and achievements. I promise. You’ve worked really hard at refining your soccer skills, and I want to make sure you have the best chance of getting on the team.
I imagine you’re probably horrified right now, and I hope you’ll forgive me. This might have been an overstep which I took advantage of since I can’t talk it over with you before making it happen. Convenient, yeah?
Anyway, I hope you’re having all the fun. I have this under control. Just trust in your older brother.
Love you.
Lix
I snort and close out of the email, then I open it again and send back a reply that only says:
Jerk.
I roll my eyes and decide that maybe he deserves more than that, so I hit reply again.
You’re still a jerk, but thank you for keeping on this. I’m having a great time. Love you too. Give my best to Noah.
Before I send it, I read it back a few times. I want to add more that will emphasize that I’m having a great time. Should I tell them that I’ve had no less than a dozen offers to suck my dick? That’s a great reception, right? Maybe I should tell him I met someone, and we’ve been hanging out, so he doesn’t worry about me.
Or maybe that’ll make him worry more because he’ll think it’s someone like Trevor.
Nope, I’m going to leave that out. I could add some things I’ve done… which he’d figure out is a lie since there are no charges to his card.
Okay, forget it. I hit send and close my email after another quick scan of what’s there. I’m not sure if the state of my empty email is sad or happy. On the one hand, there’s only one email that needs to be marked as spam. On the other, I feel it’s a sad state when even spammers don’t show up in my email.
With a sigh, I log off the computer and leave the hut. There’s a rec building close by, so I head there, determined to at least say hi to someone. Only hi. No propositions that involve anyone’s genitals.
As soon as I open the door, I’m hit with a wall of cool air. Immediately, I hear theclackof balls hitting on a pool table. There’s an uproar somewhere that sounds like a bunch of guys are playing video games. Stepping further inside, I hear thefft, ftt, smackof air hockey.
This is ridiculous. I’m twenty years old. I know how to talk to people. Why am I so damn nervous? It’s not like I’m being graded.
I head for the back as I push my sunglasses to rest on top of my head. The walls are lined with old arcade games. There are more stacked by rows, making it feel like I’m actually in anarcade. The only difference is that they don’t cost money to play. You just play them.
