Ono grins. “We have an hour boat ride to the island. That’s lots of time for you to impart your wisdom to me, Honey.”
I get to my feet and clap his arm. “Gladly. There are a ton of different ways we can collaborate. For instance, let me tell you about my husband’s place of employment.”
CHAPTER 6
ROUX
It’s not exactly an exaggeration that the Isle of Kala is a technology-free zone. You’re not allowed to haveanypersonal technology. None at all. I’m constantly reaching for my phone, mostly absently, which I find somewhat amusing. Even when I’m not consciously interested in looking at my phone, I still reach for it to doomscroll or check my messages or something.
I don’t even miss it. It’s just a little disconcerting to not have it. I feel a little more alone than usual. My brother is always a text away except when I don’t have the ability to text him. It feels almost isolating, especially when I’m in my room with all the doors and windows shut.
It’s silent, which is a wild feeling because I’m literally surrounded by guys. Everywhere I look. I thought that my isolation at school was just because I was afraid of running into Trevor or someone else like him. I didn’t realize that feeling so alone was possible when being surrounded by so many people.
Anyway, the technology thing is kind of a funny advertisement. The bracelet that identifies me as a long-term guest is some pretty crafty technology, granting room access and allowing card-free payment.
Then there’s the fact that there are tech huts, movie theaters, rec centers with gaming consoles, old school arcade games, and all sorts of shit. Also, in certain accommodations, there are televisions, and all rooms have telephones. Granted, those phones only make calls within the island resort, but they’re available nonetheless.
One of the most impressive things I’ve found within the big hotel I’m staying in is the insulation. When my doors and windows are closed, the room is quiet. If there’s someone super loud in the hallway, I can hear them, but there’s nothing through the floors or ceilings or walls. Most impressive is that my Juliet balcony overlooks one of the many pools that flow into all the others surrounding this big resort hotel, and it’salwaysfilled with loud laughter.
Maybe it helps that I’m on the fourth floor. Perhaps being on one of the lower floors would be less effective in silencing the chaos, but I’m still floored every time I open the sliding door.
I sit up from my bed and stretch. I’ve been out of my room a few times, but I’m starting to think that maybe six weeks is too long to stay here by myself. It’s great being surrounded byonlyLGBTQIA+ individuals everywhere I turn, but what I’m realizing is that I’m maybe not into hook-up culture and this island is all about hooking up.
Every single time I leave my room, I’m propositioned a minimum of three times, usually by someone asking to suck my dick. Once, I even looked down at my shorts to see if I was somehow bulging in a way I don’t normally. I mean, I’m not a huge guy. I’m not even sure I’m average.
According to Trevor, my dick isn’t impressive at all. On the other hand, Azure and Gabe didn’t have any complaints. I have guesses as to why for both, but that’s neither here nor there. Iknowthat making me insecure about my dick was just another way to manipulate me, making me feel self-conscious so I was less likely to look for someone else.
Don’t worry; I love the size of your small cock.
Over the past few days, I’ve realized just how much control Trevor still has over my life. I thought that escaping him was all I needed. Just to be free so I could get back to who I was or who I was becoming. Last year, I thought a summer romance with Gabe was what I needed as a kind of hard reset for my body image and whatever.
Part of the reason I’m here is because Iknowthat I can find someone happy with what I have for a hookup. It was meant to build up my confidence again. They’re not going to tell me I’m too flabby or my dick is small or I’m ugly. If they’re not interested, they’re going to move on.
I thought I was interested in hooking up. I thought Kala was going to be the perfect place to help me fill the holes in the foundation of my confidence.
But it just feels cringey.
Tome. I don’t care what other people are doing. I’m not judging at all. Hell, I came here to hook up. That was the plan all along—fuck my way through summer until I feel better about myself.
Yeah… in hindsight, not the most intelligent way to get back on track.
I wish I knew who I was before Trevor. I wish I could reach that man again.
Taking a breath, I force myself to get out of bed and turn the television off. At the very least, I should be sitting on the balcony and enjoying the view. Yes, I’m talking about the hot men in the pool, but I also have a beautiful view of the ocean and whichever island is off to the left. I can just barely see the docks in the distance to the right.
Time to get up, make good on my promise to check in with Lix, and maybe find some food and… entertainment. There are tons of free activities to do on Kala that aren’t considered an added-on excursion. Even some of the excursions have “free adventure” versions.
Maybe I need to readjust my goal for this summer. Clearly,I’m not interested in hooking up with any random guy that comes my way. That’s not to say I won’t make an exception here or there. Maybe I need to work on learning how to communicate with people again to start with. Trevor effectively ended all the friendships I’d begun making at Marley Coast, and I was too nervous and insecure to make friends at Longwood U.
I’m not even sure I know how to talk to someone like a normal human being anymore.
I take a shower. All the while, I continue to tell myself that this is my new mission and I’m going to make it happen. It’ll be fine. I can make friends, and we’ll be lifelong, uh, friends. Yeah.
Dressed in shorts and a tee, sans shoes since this is the one place in the world that doesn’t seem to enforce the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rule, I head out. There’s a tech hut not far from here, so I meander my way to it, keeping my sunglasses on so I’m not meeting anyone’s eyes and encouraging them to ask to suck my dick.
The air is warm with the unobscured sun beating down. It’s muggy, but there’s almost always a breeze. It smells of salt water, chlorine, food, and bodies. I’m not sure if this is a bad mixture of scents or not.
Oh, and flowers. There are exotic flowers and flowering trees everywhere. It’s beautiful. I wonder if they’re cultivated to overpower some of the more offending smells.
