“Trust me, nothing was going to keep me away.”
“Let’s go, boys,” Gran calls.
Lo takes a step back. Mine and Etna’s grandmothers are waiting a dozen feet ahead of us. The crowd is currently being instructed to sit and to be mindful of everyone around them when taking pictures, so they’re not blocking anyone’s view.
We’re not entirely visible to everyone since we’re still standing amongst the trees.
“Ready?” Edna asks.
Etna nods, his eyes meeting mine. His smile makes my heart race. “Ready.”
Horny and Julian walk down together first. Horny spins Julian at the end of the aisle like they were dancing. I can practically hear Julian’s eyes roll. Hilt and Edna go next. Hilt dips Edna in a dance finale move that has Edna laughing.
Then there’s Lo. He looks at us over his shoulder with a wicked smile and steps to the end of the aisle. I can’t see what he’s doing, but he has his hands up like he’s adjusting a tie. But I don’t think he’s wearing one.
“You gave him the rings, right?” I ask Etna.
“I did,” he answers.
I’m shocked when Lo shrugs out of his jacket. His white button-down shirt comes with it and, even from the back, I can tell he’s wearing a black leather harness. The crowd whoops, and I can see Caulder covering his face.
Lo struts down the aisle and turns to face us when he’s halfway. He brings his fingers up and jingles his nipple rings.
“Oh, my fucking hell,” Etna groans, staring with wide eyes. “Are those our rings on his nipples?”
“No!” I say and stare. “Oh god, what have we done?”
But I can’t help it. As the crowd is, I’m nearly in tears laughing.
He gets to the end of the aisle with our audience snickering, whistling like he’s a damn stripper, and clapping. If I was worried about people remembering my train, I’ve just been hugely upstaged. Lo is what they’re going to remember about this wedding, and I’m not even sorry about it.
Our grandmas are up next. My gran has her walker and Etna’s Gram waits patiently. Gran has a basket of petals on the seat of her walker as she slowly makes her way down the aisle, while Gram drops a single petal here, then another one there.
Gran though, is stopping every foot and grabbing a handful of flowers to throw into the audience. I’m chuckling when Gran picks up the basket and turns it over. It’s empty and they’ve made it maybe three feet down the aisle.
Gram turns hers over as well, which is also empty. Something I find rather amusing since she’s only dropped like eight petals.
Gran holds a finger up and then lifts the seat of her walker.
“Oh no,” I say and hold my breath.
Etna’s already grinning. His fingers slip into mine as we wait to see what our elderly grandmothers are going to do next.
Gran hands Gram a white tube folded in half. Gram holds it open for her, and we watch Gran take out a large plastic bag of petals and start pouring it in. At this point, the crowd is jarringtheir necks and craning around each other to see what the two are doing.
A loudclickfills the air when Gram folds the tube into one long piece. With a trigger. Gran adds a fucking tripod onto her walker, and they hook up this contraption.
“I’m very scared,” I say.
“We have seven shots, Gerty,” Gram says. “Take aim.”
Gran and Gram move forward another few steps and Gran calls out, “Fire, Edna! There’s someone over there wearing pink. They’re the target.”
A loudpompechoes off the trees and a burst of flower petals shoots from the end of the tube into the audience. There are screams and laughter as flower petals rain down.
“I think we should have tested this first,” Gram comments as Gran aims for the other side of the aisle. “I think they’re getting covered in petal shreds. Not actual petals.”
Etna shakes his head, chuckling as Gran aims at someone in leopard print.
