The idea that he could walk into the restaurant and see me as the anonymous ‘girl’ and get angry, leaving me there, and effectivelyending our friendship has my stomach feeling sour. I should cancel. I should make that person disappear.
If I do that, it means he can never have my phone number. Or I’ll have to change phone numbers.
I don’t think Hugo is the kind of guy who would end our friendship. But… I’ve been lying to him. Especially once he told me he’s been talking to a girl and he really likes her. That should have been my opening. I should have told him the truth.
Honestly, if I lose him, I have no one to blame but myself.
That doesn’t mean it’ll hurt any less. I’m already sick over it. Tears sting my eyes and nothing has even happened yet.
After lying in bed for a while longer, I force myself to get up and eat something because I’m starving. I don’t think I ate much yesterday. I wasn’t even nervous yesterday!
I dally around my apartment for as long as I can stand it before driving into the heart of L.A. He’s not going to be here for another hour or so but I’m not sure what else to do. So I sit in his driveway and pull my phone out to scroll mindlessly for a while, even though I still have Hugo’s key.
That is, until Hugo messages me again.
Hugo
Is that you sitting in my driveway?
I look around a little spooked that he knows I’m here. Seriously, he’s still on the plane!
Me
Yes? How do you even know that? Are you clairvoyant?
Hugo
Hahaha no. I have a video doorbell. Why didn’t you just go inside?
At least his response sets me at ease. I also appreciate that he doesn’t ask me why I’m here so early.
Me
It’s your house and… I don’t know. You didn’t tell me I could.
Hugo
Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you can. You still have my key, right? You can be there anytime you want to.
His wordsdo notmake my stomach flutter. Those are the sour nerves that this might be the last time we hang out. He may demand his key back tomorrow.
Can I even call it a date if he sees me and leaves?
“I need to stop thinking like that,” I demand to myself as I get out of the car. Then I stop talking to myself because if his doorbell has video, it also has audio.
I let myself in and reset his alarm with the instructions he sent before.
The house is quiet. There’s no trickling sound of water moving in a pond that takes up approximately a fifth of my floorspace. There aren’t any sounds of traffic since we’re far enough away from the main road. Just silence.
This is fine. Thisis notmy last time here. We’re going to remain friends, even if he’s horrified and angry with my lie. Because I don’t believe for a minute that Hugo would just drop his friends.
I pace around for a while, unsure what to do now that I’m inside. I wander from room to room, not touching anything and not opening doors. I peek out every window, just to see the different views he has. For a long time, I stare out his back doors into the yard and imagine him having his friends over.
He sends me another text twenty minutes later.
Hugo
Help yourself to whatever food or drink you can find. Just check dates since I’ve been gone for the past week. And make yourself at home. I’ll be there as soon as I can.
