Hugo
Hey… do you think that maybe we can meet? We’ll go on a date. A real one.
My heart jumps. Oh, fuck! He wants to meet. What is he going to say when he learns the truth?! I should tell him no. I should have been putting distance between us this whole time because I want him to wantme.
But I’m still me. I’m not lying or anything in any conversation we’ve had. I’m not even being intentionally vague. There are some things we haven’t talked about and I know if we did, the whole thing would be exposed.
It’s as if he doesn’t want to ask those things because there have been plenty of openings for them to come up. Yet, they haven’t.
Me
What do you have in mind?
Hugo
I guess I should ask where you live. If you live in Alaska, this probably won’t happen as easily as I’m thinking it will.
Grinning, I answer.
Me
West L.A.
Hugo
Yes! That’s close. I’m closer to the ocean. So it’ll work out. There’s an Italian restaurant called Antonio’s on Martin Ave. Do you know the place?
My stomach both jumps and drops. Didn’t he tell me he’s never brought anyone there before? Just me. Me as in Torin. And now he’s inviting the me he thinks is a girl. I’m ecstatic he wants to treat me to his favorite place, but I’m also really super sad that it’s no longer just between us.
This is getting complicated even in my own head. I’m ready for the secret to be out.
Me
I’ll figure it out if you send an address.
Hugo
Okay. Sweet. How about on the twenty-first? Technically that’s tomorrow. Six-thirty?
Oh my god, I’m going to do this! My first date could end my friendship with him entirely. I should tell him no. I should cancel tomorrow. I should do literally anything at all.
Me
Yes. It’s a date.
Anything but that. The idea that I could lose Hugo completely has me panting. Short of breath. I need to tell him I changed my mind.
Hugo
I’m excited to share our first date together. The food is sooo good so come with an appetite.
I send him back an emoji. It’s a big smiling face.
For just one minute, I allow myself to hope. Then I fall asleep and dream of serial killers.
Even though Ihave nightmares about being tortured, I still manage to sleep well through the morning. It isn’t until my phone buzzes half a dozen times that my eyes flutter open. It’s Hugo, which immediately puts a smile on my face. I half expect him to be texting anonymously again. Saying good morning to the ‘girl’ he thinks he’s been talking to and has set up a date with in just over thirty hours.
Instead, he’s in my messages asking me to come over when he gets home. I confirm I’ll be there and close my eyes. My phone buzzes several times and while it’s almost physically impossible to ignore it because I know it’s Hugo, I do my best.
