TORIN
One month later
I lookat the items I’ve laid out on the table. A dozen shirts, some sweat towels, lanyards, water bottles, keychains. Frowning, I feel like there needs to be something extra. Somethingmore. Turning to my inventory, I scan the shelves of crates that hold my team merch. I can’t see in the crates, so there’s a sample of the contents attached to the outside of most of them.
Except for a few. Like the one with the stuffed seal head poking out. With a smile, I pull one of them out. It’s a medium-sized one, roughly ten inches in length. Not one of the big ones. Or even one of the extra-large ones. But also not a tiny one. Setting it on the table, I’m satisfied with the things I have.
There’s a soft knock on the door as I’m standing straight. I turn as it opens and Hugo smiles at me. Everything inside me warms. I’m in his arms a minute later as he holds me tightly.
“I love you,” he murmurs.
It’s almost always the first words out of his mouth when we’ve been separated for any length of time. Like for hockey related things. Such as practice, which was where he was.
My arms tighten as I inhale him deeply. He smells like soap, fabric softener, and Hugo. That unique Hugo scent I love.
“I love you,” I answer.
His hand moves into the hair at the back of my head. His hold is firm, but so very gentle. Especially around my head.
There’s an entire period of time I still don’t remember. I don’t remember leaving my apartment or even being there. I don’t remember driving to or from my apartment. I don’t remember the accident or the hospital until the time I woke up and had my memory of Hugo back when I promised myself I would never forget him again.
To this day, I think I’ve woken up a couple times in the last month not remembering him completely. He hugs me tightly on those mornings like he does every morning, introduces himself, and tells me he loves me more than anything. Both times, I remember him before we get too far from the bed.
Honestly, I think the worst thing is forgetting him and then remembering while I’m still conscious. Knowing that I forgot him is terrifying. Coming to the realization that I know this man and what he means to me hurts in a way I can’t fully explain. I’m pretty sure I get super clingy after that for the rest of the day.
“You feeling okay?”
I nod. I get headaches often, which makes being the mascot a little difficult, but the Golden Tides franchise has been super understanding and accommodating. Not for the first time, I’m super grateful for the company I work for.
What’s frustrating and a little disappointing is I didn’t forget how to be anxious. I still have horrible anxiety in crowds, but I’m getting better around friends.
They were all there while I was in the hospital. All of Hugo’s friends, who are apparently my friends too. Coach Ajo was in a lot to check on me. Many members of administration and management for the Golden Tides were in to visit.
I had no idea there were so many people who supported me. Wholikeme and are concerned for me. My doctor is convinced me realizing that has helped my memory. Because it’s something I’ve longed for my entire life and I desperately don’t want to forget it now that I have it.
“Do you need to rest a while?” Hugo asks.
“No. I wasn’t doing anything strenuous. I’m good.”
He nods, but doesn’t let me go until another knock on my doorinterrupts us. Even as it opens, Hugo doesn’t release me entirely. He shifts us both so we can see.
Egon pushes the door open and smiles. “Hey,” he greets. “Everything okay?”
I nod. I’ve been seeing Egon three or four times a week to work on my muscles. There are weird aches in my body that hadn’t been there before. I had a fracture in my ankle. It was small and not like, my bones were broken in half or anything. There were also a lot of pulled and strained muscles or whatever.
Egon isn’t a physical therapist, he’s an athletic trainer. But he spoke with the PT the hospital assigned me and they released my care to him as long as he agreed to consult them with any concerns or uncertainties.
I also talk to a brain therapist who specializes in head injuries after accidents. It feels like we’re talking and playing games, but apparently, she’s helping me to regain old memories and retain new ones. The idea that I can forget new things is so fucking scary. I can forget new people and new skills and… yeah. I’m not a fan of this memory issue thing.
Not that I want to remember the accident. I don’t.
“You ready?” Egon asks.
Hugo looks at me and I smile, nodding. “Yep. I really was just putting the last thing on the table.”
“Cool. I still want a seal.”
Laughing, I extricate myself from Hugo’s arms and walk to my wall of merch. I pull the container with the stuffed seals and choose one, tossing it to Egon. He grins.
