“I meant what I just said. No pressure. If you’re uncomfortable or don’t want to, that’s totally cool. We’re just acouple straight guys forced to share a space because the hotel is fucking stupid.”
Caulder laughs. “No. Actually… I think I want to be gay for the weekend. You know, behind closed doors where no one can see or suspect. As terrifying as it was to admit to someone out loud, there’s a weight off me that you know. I can’t even tell you the dread I felt coming in here, knowing I was going to be sharing a tight space—a single bed—with a stranger and having to hide this.”
“You’ve shared hotel rooms before,” I point out.
“Yes, but I’ve always managed to be with guys I’m good friends with. There’s comfort in that. And when it’s been strangers, I’ve had time to work myself up for it and it’s never been in the same bed. It’s a huge relief that you know. It’s a bigger relief that you’re gay too.”
I slide closer to him and rest my hand on his hip. When he doesn’t appear uncomfortable at all, I bring him closer, meeting him in the middle of the bed. “Then let’s be openly gay this weekend within these walls. No secrets. No having to hide it or pretend not to notice your sexy ass. No having to force myself to look away when I want to admire you because you’re fucking gorgeous.” I was right. This man is blushing. He does so easily, and I adore it. “We’ll fool around and then go our separate ways in three days, taking this secret to the grave.”
“For the record, I don’t plan to stay closeted forever,” Caulder says, his voice quiet and breathless. “Just until I retire and moderately fade into the background.”
“Oh, same. But I have no immediate plans to retire, so to the grave it is.”
He grins and I lean in to bite his lip.
“Think we can get rid of the underwear? I usually sleep naked, and this is going to keep me awake.”
Caulder huffs. “Yeah, fine.”
We wiggle our way out of our underwear, and I’m stoked when he easily meets me back in the middle of the bed. Chest to chest. Cock to cock. Ankles tangled. His hand is still hesitant where it rests lightly on my waist.
“Thanks for not making a big deal out of this,” Caulder says.
“There shouldn’t be a big deal when someone comes out,” I tell him. “There shouldn’t be a need to come out at all. It shouldn’t matter.”
He nods, a sad smile on his lips. “That’s not the world we live in.”
“I would say that we’re closer to that world now than we were.”
“You think so? I think the world keeps getting uglier and we’re moving backwards.”
“Oh, definitely. But those old white guys will die and this younger generation, the one after us, they’re already not quiet about who they are. The worldwillchange, and these old white guys are going to roll over in their graves.”
He laughs. “Good. I hope I’m here to see it.”
“Me too. For now, let’s make out some more, maybe rub against each other a little bit, until we fall asleep. There’s no better way to wake up rested than after a few orgasms.”
Caulder smiles, but it’s still shy. Cutely shy. But his kissing is far more eager this time. There’s still nervousness in it, but he’s no longer quite so hesitant. He doesn’t feel like he’s fighting himself this time. It makes a world of difference in his kisses. He was tasty as I coaxed him into what he clearly wanted but was afraid to take before, but now that he’s fully on board, I can just eat up his eagerness.
Especially when I feel his dick hardening against my thigh. I drop my hand to his ass and hike him closer. The dirty sound he makes in my mouth has me shivering. This man is sexy. So. Damn. Hot.
I’m not sure what gay god was looking down on me this weekend to have gifted me Caulder Haines as a bed partner, but I’m going to worship both the gay god and Caulder while I have him. Fuck yes, please!
CHAPTER 7
CAULDER
I’ve never,literallyneverwoken up with someone in the same bed pressed against me. It’s not just a body pressed against me, either. Lo’s practically on top of me.
My heart races for one wild minute, and I’m disoriented when I groggily open my eyes. I don’t recognize my surroundings and the weight of the hot body tangled with mine is almost enough to make me lose my shit.
But Lo sighs in his sleep and for some reason, that’s enough to trigger a 10x speed overview of what happened last night—the sex on TV, the kiss, the blowie, the freakout, the confessions, the arrangement. And here we are.
A smile touches my lips. I didn’t tell him everything last night. Although, I’m guessing he probably can guess a lot of it. But the things I left out are kind of a big deal. I’ve never so much as touched another man.
Or woman. I never pretended to be straight to that extent. In reality, I don’t actually try to appear straight. I present that way when forced to talk about relationships and hookups or whatever. Otherwise, I avoid the conversations and topics at all costs.
In reality, I don’t trust myself. That’s why I’ve never even allowed myself to go to a club under the anonymity of night and fool around. The idea that I could be found, caught, and outed against my will, was far too fucking terrifying.
