He presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thank you for being here. Not just tonight when I needed you, but… these last several months.”
“I was always meant to be here, Felton.”
“You think so? Like fate or something?”
Grinning, I shrug. “Don’t know about that, but it wasn’t long before I started spending time with you when my feelings for you began changing entirely.”
“That seems weird. You like broken men,” he says.
I laugh. “You’re not broken. You’ve been hurt and need some help to see yourself clearly. But you’re not broken. Even if you were, you were beaten down to that point, having lived with the kind of nasty voices always in your head that you have.”
Felton sighs.
“No more,” I assure him. “Until your parents can get their shit together, untilI’msatisfied with their behavior and how they treat and talk to you, you will not be speaking to them or seeing them. I will be the only one to deal with them.”
It’s really sad that he completely relaxes under me. The amount of stress that he carries because of them is sick.
“Thank you,” he says.
“I need one thing from you, Felton.”
“What?”
“When you need help with something—anything at all—tell me. It can just be ‘help’ and I’ll be there without question. If it’s a situation you’re in and you don’t know what to do, do exactly as you did yesterday and call me so I can hear it and I’ll come to you. You’re not fighting alone anymore, Fel. Give me all of you and I’ll keep you safe.”
His arms are vise grips around me. Holding me as if I’m in a straight jacket. “Why are you so good to me?” he whispers. “Why do you want all my broken bits?”
“Give me all your broken pieces,” I murmur, pressing kisses all over his face and letting him pretend he’s not crying as I taste his tears. “I will help you put them all back together until you never remember they existed. You’re mine to protect now. Mine to help make happy. Believe me, Felton, there’s nothing I want more in this world than you.”
When did I turn into such a sap?
In all reality, I think he needs to hear the sappy things. I’m not sure he’s heard anything nice outside of his short-lived sex business. So I’m going to keep telling him until there’s no question from him. I will remind him often until he understands without a doubt that I’m all about him.
He doesn’t need strangers who don’t know him to tell him how hot he is. How much they want to be the one fucking him. He doesn’t need them to tell him all the things he’s always wished to hear.
I will make sure he never lacks hearing them. And he’s going to know that it’s different coming from me because I actually personally know the man who I’m saying them to. And I mean every single word.
THIRTY-TWO
REN
Felton does not improvethroughout the rest of the away games. It wears on him and we all know that he blames himself for the string of losses we’ve seen because of it. No matter how much I assure him it takes more than a goalie to win, he’s convinced that it’s his fault.
It’s not. I think we’ve all been feeling his stress. It’s more than stress, though. It’s deep sorrow and hurt. Added on top of that, I think any confidence he had in himself just crashed to rock bottom. The anger sits heavy on my chest, knowing his asshole father took away the light and happiness Felton; it’s beginning to feel permanent. It doesn’t go away. Doesn’t fade.
What I wouldn’t give to bring his smile back. I’m just not sure how. I need to andwantto, but I’m not sure how to make that happen.
Coach had Felton sit out for the last two away games, but I think the entire team feels Felton’s turmoil and hurt because we don’t perform at the level we usually do. We lose. Not horribly. They were really close games, especially considering one went all the way to a shootout. But we lost, and I know Felton feels guilty for it.
I look down and a smile touches my lips. I’m not sure how he’s managed it, but Felton’s sprawled across his plane seat and my lap, fast asleep. His legs are bent and at weird angles, going up the wall and against the back of the seat in front of us.
My hand is over his chest, feeling his heart beating steadily, and both of his hands are over mine. Keeping me there? Making sure I don’t disappear while he’s asleep? I’m not sure he’s figured it out yet—I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for as long as he’ll have me.
He looks peaceful, with his face slightly turned into my stomach. My other hand runs through his hair softly. I’m not sure if the comfort is for him or me. His hair is so silky.
For a while, I stare at his sleeping face. I hope he’s not dreaming of his father.
“Hey.”
