While he’s eating, I decide now seems like an opportune time to bring up the sleeping arrangements. It’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed. But most of the time, that’s been more happenstance than it was intentional.
“My parents and brother will be here tomorrow,” I say.
Felton glances at me and nods.
“How do you feel about sharing my room for the duration of their visit?”
He freezes mid chew. The way his eyes widen makes me smile. Then he quickly finishes chewing before he speaks. “I don’t have to stay here if you?—”
I press my finger to his lips to stop his words. “Fel, I want you here. I’m just short on guest rooms and this is the most obvious solution. But I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or feel obligated for… anything. At all. I can sleep on the floor.”
Felton shakes his head adamantly. “No.”
He leans forward and sets his bowl down before looking at me. “I uh…” His cheeks flush and I try not to stare at the way his skin pinks prettily. So I don’t make him uncomfortable, I turn away and set my bowl down as well. “Uh… I haven’t… had sex in a while. I just… well, I kind of…”
The light pink is now bright red. He’s adorably flustered and while I quite enjoy this side of him, I press my hand to his cheek. His eyes snap up to mine.
“I meant what I said. No pressure. Not to kiss or touch or cuddle, and certainly not for anything sexual. We can have completely different blankets. I’ll make a wall of pillows. Whatever you need, Fel.”
He melts into me before shaking his head. “That’s—Thank you. But that’s not what I was trying to say with a mouth full of cotton. I just… I’m probably almost always hard in bed because, well… it’s been a while. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Oh,” I say, trying to contain my grin but failing miserably. “Tián xin, I’m not offended by your hard-on.”
“Tián xin,” he murmurs, doing pretty well getting the pronunciation close. “What does it mean?”
“Sweetheart,” I tell him.
He smiles, leaning toward me. I’m not sure he realizes he does so. Bringing my hand around to the back of his neck, Iguide him closer and kiss him. “I’m not worried about your arousal, Felton,” I say quietly. “I’ve seen you very turned on.”
“Ohmigod,” he says and pulls back suddenly, covering his face. “I just rememberedexactlyeverything you saw of me!”
I grin and pull him close again. “Yes, I saw a lot. Want to know a secret?”
He peeks at me through his fingers and nods.
“It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Felton shivers. “It is?”
“Yeah. It was a struggle not to be a part of it, but more than anything, I wanted to make sure you knew you were safe. That I’d protect you. I wanted to make sure whatever you wanted, you’d have and all you had to do was feel good.”
His hands slowly come down from his face as he stares at me.
“That’s still what I want. I want to make sure you’re getting everything you want. Everything you need. And all you have to do is enjoy it. I’ll always make sure you’re safe and taken care of.”
Felton’s lips part. He’s not blinking at first, just staring at me with big eyes. Then he’s blinking rapidly and dropping his gaze as he inhales deeply.
It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s never been treated well.
“You really want me,” he whispers, and I think it’s more to himself than it is to me. Like he’s convincing himself that this moment is real. It’s happening.
“Ireallywant you,” I emphasize.
“I just…” Felton shakes his head, staring at his hands. “I make really bad decisions, and struggle to make any decisions at all. Even stupid small ones. It’s probably going to get annoying.”
I gently pull him to me and hug him tightly. “How about we do something about that?” His shoulders tense. “You’re a very expressive person. Especially when it’s the two of us. I can usually tell right away when you’re uncomfortable or don’t likesomething. How do you feel about me making some decisions for you?”
“I—” He inhales and holds it. “Yes. Fuck, Ren. Ihatemaking decisions. It’s like, no matter what I do, it’s always wrong! More than anything, I just want to be told what to do, so I know it’s right.”
