“Am I going to have to climb over the bar for that, Harry?” I put one knee on the stool, my body rocking forward, the cool air making me more than aware of how much of my ass was on display. I was hoping I could play this off as being drunk already. Harry and Drew would know the truth, but maybe no one else would have to.
Hoisting myself up and swinging my ass around, I sat on the edge of the bar and fought the urge to tug the skirt of the slip down to cover myself. It went against every instinct I had, but Drew was giving me a run for my money in the stubborn department.
His hand slid down to cover his eyes, his finger and thumb squeezing to pinch the bridge of his nose. Considering the amount of marks on his face, I knew it must have been hurting him to touch his cuts that way, but as he muttered quietly under his breath, something that sounded very much likeshe’s trying to get me killed today,I couldn’t stop the small smile that crept onto my face.
“What the fuck are you doing, Ayda?” he growled quietly.
“I’m making a spectacle of myself, Drew,” I said, crossing my legs and aiming them in his direction. “Would you like to know why?”
“I would like you to put some motherfucking clothes on. That’s what I would like.”
“If you keep walking down the path you’re building for us, it’ll be out of your hands. You’re pushing me away and I really don’t fucking appreciate it. So, before you ruin everything we have together, I’m giving you a glimpse of your future. If you keep pushing, I will end up resenting you, and I won’t wait forever for you to wise up. You don’t get tochoose how I dress, or who sees me that way.” With my hands on the polished surface, I lifted my ass and slid closer to him, no one else in the room really mattering to me at all. “I don’t know about you, but that thought makes me miserable. So, I’m dressed this way for you, and I’m going to apologize if you thought I was trying to change you in any way. I never wanted that. I’ve only ever wanted you. You, Drew motherfucking Tucker, president of the Hounds, the mean, angry and sexy man I love.”
I sucked in a breath, finally taking a break to stare at my thighs and find some of the confidence that was slowly leaking from every pore on my body.
His hand slowly fell down his face to stroke the outline of his beard before he let out a heavy sigh. When he allowed himself to look up, I wasn’t sure how to read what I saw staring back. Resting his cheek against two fingers, he stared at me in a way he never had before. There was no emotion that I could pick out and cling on to, just an empty face filled with nothing but war wounds.
“Harry?” he whispered. “Give her the liquor.”
Harry held his arm out and I took it with an imperceptible nod of thanks. The humiliation was almost immediate as I felt every eye in the place on me. I could tell the whores were enjoying every second. Even without looking, I could feel their smirks thickening the air until it was cloying enough to choke on.
I was a proud person, and walking into the room the way I had was a huge risk to my pride and it had severely backfired. I slipped from the bar and walked toward the hall, forcing myself to keep my head up and shoulders back. The moment I was free and clear, I was running like Hell was at my heels. Atleast I knew how little I meant to him. He’d already made up his mind, which meant my old friend Tequila and I could have a party of our own and I could deal with everything else in the light of day.
My hands were trembling almost uncontrollably as I closed the door to my room and turned the lock.
My sanctuary didn’t feel very safe anymore. Nothing did.
Stripping the slip off with one hand, and unscrewing the top off the bottle with my teeth, I wandered toward the dresser to dig out my yoga pants and hoodie. I would drink myself to sleep and start a whole new day by going to the diner and getting some of my old shifts back.
I was still in my underwear and a hoodie when an almighty smash made me swing in a circle. My heart made its way to my throat, and my hand, swiping the bottle from the dresser, trembled violently. The wood of the door seemed to cower just knowing what was on the other side and the brutality it was about to be subjected to, but all I was scared of was more pain. I was terrified of the rejection I knew was coming.
The second impact on the door made it jump out of Drew’s path. His palm slapped it to the side as it hit the wall and swung back toward him and the frame. The sound was deafening and his face was like thunder. He was pissed, and this was going to be the mother of all fights. I had a feeling that, for the second time in a year, I was about to find myself homeless.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Drew
Istood there in front of her, my legs shoulder width apart as I dragged air into my chest and stared her down. The shock and fear that shone back from her eyes should have made me feel something other than rage, but I couldn’t get the fucking image of her parading herself around out of my head. I wasn’t even grateful that she was now a little more covered up.
“What the fuck was that?” I growled, my voice straining to get out and stay under control as my eyes trailed the length of her body again.
“That was me getting your attention,” she said, waving the bottle of Tequila at me, the fear receding enough that her own anger started to shine through.
“That was you acting like a child—a spoiled child who couldn’t wait to stick the knife in just that little bit more. Had I not been through enough today already? Did you want to kick me a little harder than everyone else had managed to? For fuck’s sake, Ayda!”
I took a step closer, then another, my body moving closer to the edge of the bed, only stopping from getting too close to her for fear of what I might say, or worse, do. The anger was making my blood boil and I was absolutely fucking exhaustedalready.
She backed away, her hand brushing through her hair as she looked around the room and down at her bare legs. She was looking anywhere but at me. “I’m sorry you had a shitty day, but you are having a lot of them lately, Drew, and I gotta say, I’m sick to death of you coming home and pushing me a little further away from you. Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch you leave day after day and wonder if you’re going to come back and pull me closer or keep me at arm’s length? I’ve never wanted you to be anything but who you are, but I ask for just a sliver of respect and I’m changing you.”
She took a mouthful of Tequila, her eyes narrowing as she wiped the residue away with the back of her hand.
“You don’t ask. You demand. You tell me when you want me to talk, and fuck, if I don’t do it in that moment, in front ofallmy goddamn men I might add, I’m the asshole. I’m immature and full of macho bullshit. You see what you want to see. You hear what you want to hear. It’s all about that moment, the one you continue to walk or run away from when I don’t act or respond the exact way you want me to.” My hands flew in the air, both of them shaking violently as I leaned forward and widened my eyes. “Newsflash, Ayda: I have no clue how to do anything but be who I am and do what I do. I’m trying every day, I really fucking am, but I can’t put the shit that runs through my veins off. If I want to slam Kenny up against a wall, that’s what I’m gonna do. My men won’t respect me and I wouldn’t respect myself if I was to hold up a hand and sayhang on a minute, bro. I just gotta explain to the old lady why I want to knock all your front teeth out and show your face what your asshole looks like.Doyouhave any idea what it’s like to beme? I get that this isn’t easyfor you, but easy is something I never promised you in this life. Ever. What you just did out there wasn’t you. That’s not who you are.”
Ayda spun away from me, her free hand balled into a fist at her side. I could see the tremble as she pushed it against her thigh, her shoulders rising and falling with her breaths. “Once. One fucking time and it’s all I’m capable of doing, right? I couldn’t give a fuck about you and Kenny, Drew. It’s club business—nothing to do with me, right? Thing is, you’re not even fucking getting the point here. You’re too fucking invested in making up bullshit reasons to make me the bad guy.”
She reached the wall and turned, pressing her back to it.
“I’ve never demanded a thing from you. I neveronceasked you to change who you are or what you represent in front of your men. I always keep questions and opinions to myself until we’re inyourroom. So don’t stand there and preach your bullshit to me. Be fucking straight with me. You’re tired of being tied down. I’m cramping your style… No, wait! This life is too dangerous for me? God forbid I make up my own damn mind.”
