“Yes, Matteo, I do know that.” I couldn’t help grinning back although I was nervous, my heart galloping.
“It’s important to be safe.”
“I know, I just…you said you’d been tested, and I’m…”
He ducked his head and for a moment I thought I’d messed it all up, that he was going to say,Forget it, we shouldn’t be doing this, but when he looked up again all he said was, “You really want that? You’re sure?”
“It would feel more intimate. More connected. More natural, maybe, I don’t know.” WhatdidI know? I’d never done this before. But I knew I wanted Teo’s skin against mine,inmine, with nothing between us.
“Okay,” he said, and tossed the strip of condoms over his shoulder onto the floor. “No rubbers.” He leaned in to kiss me again on the forehead, nose, lips.
“You don’t mind?”
“Uh, no, baby. Nope. I don’t mind at all.” His hand smoothed over my body. “You want to be face up or face down? Or side-on, or—”
“I have no idea,” I confessed, and we shared a quiet laugh. “Um. What’s your favorite?”
His eyes were dark and serious and when he spoke again it was with an almost desolate tone that I’d never heard from him before. “I’d like to kiss you when I come.”
I liked that thought. “So, face up?”
“Face up.”
I wasn’t even sure how it would work, but he ended up sitting between my legs, spreading them wide so they bent over his thighs, pulling me up so my hips were canted up towards him. His thumb returned to massage me, open me up while I could see him working himself with his other hand, the slick sound of lube filling the room.
He shuffled forward a little and his thumb withdrew. “Relax.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” I muttered, and he gave a short huff of laughter. There was blunt pressure against my sensitive, twitching skin, and then I felt myself spreading wide around him as he pushed in. A long, low stretch crept up my gut, measured and gradual, and my mouth opened wider and wider as he pushed in.
He paused. “You okay?”
I shut my mouth, squeezed my eyes shut, and nodded. “Keep going.”
His fingers spasmed on my hip, and he whooshed a breath through his teeth before he slid further in, until I felt the prickling of his hairs against my spread flesh, until he was deep inside me. I could feel him in me, his cock flexing even as the rest of his body stayed still.
“Baby?”
“Uh?” I looked up at him, at his concerned, beautiful face above me.
“Still okay?”
“Perfect,” I sighed out, a whisper of a word between us that seemed to hit him physically from the way he winced. I had to grope for my voice, pull it up from where it was hiding. “Are you…alright?”
“Yeah,” he said through clenched teeth, turning his head away. Then, with irony: “Perfect.” He blew out another breath and looked back into my face. “Fuck. You feel…”
“Tell me,” I whispered.
“Hot and—and naked and—” He grit his teeth. “I’ve never—it’s never been like this before…” For a moment I thought he meant the lack of condoms, but that desperate note was back in his voice. I reached out for him and he carefully moved, levering forward until he lay over me, and I wrapped my legs around his hips. It was surprisingly comfortable, though he was heavy on me. But then he propped himself up on his arms.
“It doesn’t hurt,” I murmured.
“Did you really think it was going to?”
Tears gathered in my eyes and I hoped Teo couldn’t see them. I couldn’t have explained them.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Teo
