“Petra,” Nora says again. “Why are you being like this?”
“He’s lying to you about who he is. Do not trust him. Whatever he says, he’s lying.”
Nora doesn’t react like I expect her to. Instead, she and Saint share another knowing look, but this one is chock full of shame. She folds her arms over her chest and looks down at the pavement.
I wait for one of them to elaborate, but neither of them does. Nora eventually peers up at me with eyes that hold a level of betrayal like I’ve never seen in another human.
“Eric is an old friend of mine.”
The words sound like echoes reverberating around in my heart. He’s ...what?
It’s as if my world turns gray. All the possibilities of what that could even mean are slamming into me from every direction.
“Petra,” Saint says, attempting to reassure me. Or Eric. Whoever the fuck he is steps forward, but I hold up a hand.
“Don’t come near me,” I say to him. Then to her, “What the hell are you talking about?”
Nora sighs, and then glances toward the bookstore behind me. People are lingering, but not close enough to hear our conversation.
She lowers her voice almost to a whisper. “You werestuck, Petra. I was trying to help.” Her voice is a plea for forgiveness, but I’m still not sure what she’s done that requires my forgiveness.
How is Nora, my best friend in the whole fucking world, involved in what happened between me and Saint?
She continues by saying, “Eric and I ...” She waves a hand at him. “After my live video with you ended that night, we were chatting online. We joked about how it would be nice if he could help get you out of your slump. And you seemed so desperate for inspiration.”
I cannot believe what I’m hearing.
Every feeling and emotion I went through when I thought this was merely Saint’s idea is amplified. I can feel the tears stinging my eyes.
“This isn’t true,” I say with a twinge of hope. “You’re joking, right? If you know him, why have you never mentioned him?”
“I haven’t seen him since college,” she says. “We’ve been friends online since then. You don’t know every single person in my life.” She sounds defensive, but I’m the only one here with any reason to feel defensive. Or angry. Or betrayed.
The two of them should feel nothing but sheer and utter shame.
“But ...” I can’t fathom it. Nora ... Saint. Both of them? “You’re mybest friend,” I say, stepping closer. “If what you’re saying is true, thatyou sent yourfriendto inspire me, you knowingly put my marriage at risk! You putmeat risk!”
Nora’s expression loses some of the guilt in exchange for confusion. She glances at Saint, and then back at me. “I don’t think I did,” she says. “All I did was ask him to show up in uniform and knock on your door so you could put a face to your character.” She shakes her head, looking between us. “He agreed to ask you a question and then leave. Did ...” Her eyes land hard on Saint. “Did something else happen?” She’s finally beginning to sound concerned forme, rather than concerned about being caught.
“Nothing happened,” he says to Nora. Then he looks at me, sincerity in his eyes. “I told hernothing, Petra.” Saint says it quickly, as if to throw me a lifeline.
I am completely in shock. I need time to process this, but I don’t know how I can do that when the person I always go to when I need to talk something through is the person I need to talkabout.
She has completely betrayed my trust, and now she knows there’s more to whatever happened, more that I haven’t told her. Something big.
“It’s not my business,” Nora says. “But Petra, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened between you two—he said you only spoke for a few minutes—but I swear to you, that is what I’ll believe. Forever.Pleaseforgive me. I really was truly just trying to help. I was going to tell you the next day, but he begged me not to. And then when we spoke, you sounded like it helped, so ... I just left it alone.”
“I was there for less than five minutes,” Saint says to Nora, throwing me another lifeline. He’s still trying to protect our secret, despite theirs being out in the open. “I left right away. Nothing happened, I just felt bad that she got scared.”
I can’t even find it in myself to appreciate that he’s trying to cover for me, because I’m furious. I’m embarrassed. I feel betrayed and confused and mortified, and now I’m crying and trying to wipe the tears away with quick swipes of my hands.
At least I made it until after the signing this time before having a breakdown.
My vulnerable position forces Nora to step forward and naturally try to comfort me, but I push her away. The three of us stand quietly as I try to process everything I’ve just learned.
Norasent him there? My best friend?
When I finally compose myself enough to speak, I lift my chin and look at Saint. “I’d like to speak to you alone.”
