“Lulu… I…”
“Please,oso.”
A shadow moved across Xavi’s face, distorting his angled, beautiful features, as his entire body hardened. Then, just when Lulu expected him to pull away and hideagain, he nodded slowly. Xavi didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. That slight, barely there nod said it all.Yes. Please. I’m tired of carrying it alone.
Smashing his mouth against Lulu’s, Xavi shook against him, finally letting go, and it was the most spectacular thing ever, feeling Xavi, the man he loved, surrender not just to his own desire but also to all his fears. The fear of being and feeling broken. Sighing into Xavi’s mouth, Lulu felt tears press behind his eyes. He loved him so much, this beautiful man.
With a hard thrust and a pained shout, Xavi came in his arms, his entire body shaking, as he, too, fell apart just like Lulu had mere minutes ago.
“Fuuuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gritted against Lulu’s lips, and it was then that Lulu tasted tears, their saltiness bursting on his tongue. Trailing his fingers along Xavi’s cheeks soothingly, he murmured tender reassurances against his lover’s lips, because they were truly lovers now. It didn’t take Xavi being inside Lulu’s body to make it so. Lulu had allowed so many men to do that, to fuck him, but they had never been his lovers. Not any of them. Only Xavi.
Xavi was crying in earnest now, his large frame going slack against Lulu, who was still locked between Xavi and the wooden boards behind him. The rain had stopped, leaving the air inside the bridge tight and stuffy, and Lulu’s clothes clung to his body. A chill tore through him, and Xavi must’ve sensed it because he eased off him and shook himself.
“Shit, I’m crushing you,” he rasped.
“It’s okay. It was nice.”
Xavi nodded, but he seemed miles away, once again locked inside himself, his pain pulling him back as his orgasm subsided.
“Stay.” Lulu tucked Xavi back against him. He was not ready to lose him again. “Stay with me, Xavi.”
“I…”
“It’s okay.”
“I… I don’t know if it is,” Xavi mumbled, suddenly looking much younger than his years.
“It is. It will be. Now.”
Xavi looked at him, so young and so lost. Licking his lips, his gaze dropped to his feet as he whispered, “It’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“It’s okay.” Reaching for Xavi, he tilted his face, so they were once again eye to eye. “BecauseIknow. I know who you are.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Who am I then?” Shit, if Lulu’s heart wasn’t already completely Xavi’s, it sure as shit was now.
“You’re the kid who came out of the fucking fire. You’remyXavi. You’remine.”
Chapter Seventeen
Xavi
You’re mine. The words echoed through Xavi’s head, but no matter how many times he whispered them into the darkness of the small loft room, he couldn’t make any sense of them. Lulu couldn’t have meant it like that. Of course not. At least not what Xavi wanted them to mean. It was just Lulu being Lulu, although tonight… Lulu had been different.Verydifferent. So had Xavi. They were only two days into their trip and already Xavi felt his well-constructed armor peeling away, layer by layer, the more time he spent with Lulu and the more Lulu continued to prod at him, almost insisting on stripping him bare.
Turning on his side, Xavi shifted position for the one hundredth time. Sleep wouldn’t find him. Not tonight. It wasn’t the bed’s fault, no; it was very comfortable, the mattress a little on the hard side perhaps, but still a very good bed. And now he sounded like a fucking mattress salesman. Great. It wasn’t the room either. The small bed-and-breakfast Lulu had found was in a quiet, secluded area in Winterset, and the loft room with the serene lavender colored walls had a nice, airy feel to it. It was exactly the kind of room and surroundings that promised a good night’s sleep followed by a well-rested mind and body the next morning. And still, Xavi couldn’t sleep, turning every little move and sound Lulu had made earlier around in his head, examining this evening from every possible angle. But no matter how many times he recounted what had happened on the bridge, it came out the same. They’d kissed. Again. It had been fucking everything.Again. They’d touched in a way Xavi had never allowed anyone to touch him before, raw and needy, with an insistence that scared him to death. Because in that insistence, no, in that fucking determination in Lulu’s hands and lips lay a promise, an entire world of promises, which resonated so deeply with something Xavi had buried in the depths of his being for so long. Something that had surfaced tonight in a moment of reckless vulnerability and raw passion. All his hopes and dreams. All his deepest, darkest desires. Everything hadunraveled when Lulu had kissed him, touched him, moved against him, and had made him come. Lulu had made him fucking come. And he’d made Lulu come, too. Fuck, when he recalled the sounds Lulu had made, how he’d trembled in Xavi’s arms while he’d slowly fallen to pieces. If that wasn’t a game changer, Xavi didn’t know what was.
An outdrawn sigh left his body but offered him no relief. Rubbing at his face, he then squeezed his eyes closed, willing himself to fall asleep. But that turned out to be the worst idea ever because the second he closed his eyes, all he saw was Lulu, and his almond eyes swimming with want, pink lips bruised from kissing, shining with Xavi’s spit. All he felt was the memory of Lulu’s touch, so careful, almost reverent, his fingers whispering along Xavi’s skin, Lulu’s slender athletic thighs wrapped around him when Xavi had had him pinned against the wooden planks of the bridge. Instantly, Xavi grew hard, his dick pulling all blood from his body, as it throbbed in his briefs.Shit.Turning onto his stomach, he buried his face in the pillow, groaning into it, his voice muffled and pained. But that was even more of a mistake, because his dick sure seemed to like the friction from the mattress, because yes, now Xavi was humping the fucking mattress.
“Can’t sleep?” Lulu’s mellow voice sounded close to him, too close.
“No,” he groaned into the pillow, hoping that when he resurfaced, his life would be back to normal again. Predictable, uneventful, and without this indescribable lust soaring through him, pulling at every cell in his body.
“The mattress too rough on your scars?” Lulu stirred next to him, his breath hot against Xavi’s neck. Of course he’d ask that. Such a fucking Lulu thing to notice, to say.
Pulling the pillow from his face, Xavi breathed in the cool night air spilling through the slightly ajar window. He never slept with the window open in the city, the noises from the constantly moving streets too loud, but here, in the country, it was lovely.
