“What about you?” Lulu countered, nipping at Xavi’s chin.
“What about me?”
“You’re so fucking hot. You’re everywhere. It’s like… It’s like…”
“What?”
“It’s like I can’t breathe, and yet, it’s like I’m really truly breathing for the first time in my life.”
“Fuuuck,” Xavi groaned, then his lips were back on Lulu’s, his tongue once again exploring Lulu’s mouth with ruthless passion, before he tore himself away again. “I feel the same.” There was a tenderness in Xavi’s voice, a newfound deepness speaking of endless vulnerability. It was raw, and it was real, and it was everything Lulu had ever wanted from Xavi.
“Make me come,” Lulu begged. “Make me come.”
Xavi’s eyes went wild, near black, as his mouth twisted into something wicked. “Here?” Xavi raised a brow, then looked over his shoulder.
“Yes. Here. It’s just us.”
And then it happened. Xavi smiled. He really fucking smiled. Not a guarded half-smile or a grumpy smirk. No, he smiled with his entire face, his pearly white teeth glistening in the near-dark, his eyes shining with want. Nodding slowly, he bent slightly and grabbed Lulu behind his ass and lifted him from the ground. Before Lulu knew what was happening, he was airborne, and then his back slammed against the side of the bridge, as Xavi’s hard body settled between his thighs, his jeans-clad cock pulsing against Lulu’s core. The rain kept banging on the roof of the bridge, but inside, they were safe, sheltered, and engulfed in their world of two.
“Fuck, look at you,cisne,” Xavi breathed. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Always have been.” Then he paused, his cheeks turning scarlet red beneath his light brown skin. “Most beautiful man I ever saw.”
“Kiss me,” Lulu begged, and Xavi leaned in, kissing him as if his life depended on it.
Lulu lost track of time after that, the world fading into a blur of panting breaths, groping hands, and sloppy, hungry kisses. Xavi was fucking everywhere as he repeatedly dug his hardness against Lulu’s, their clothes doing a piss-poor job at putting a damper on their need for each other. Lulu had always imagined it would be fucking explosive between them, but nothing could’ve prepared him for this. He was so close. So, so close. Xavi was too. He felt it. How his body shook as he ground against Lulu’s. The sounds Xavi made were obscene and so beautiful. Despite the cold, they were both sweating profusely, and Lulu tasted salt whenever he kissed Xavi or licked along his neck.
“Come for me,cisne,” Xavi moaned against his forehead. “Please.”
And that was all it took for Lulu to explode into a million little pieces in Xavi’s arms. With a loud yell, his release rolled over him like a thunderstorm, as he spilled into his pants. It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. It was like falling apart while feeling whole, complete for the first time.
“Oh my fucking God,” Lulu hissed, tasting blood from how hard he’d dug his teeth into his lips in a fruitless attempt to silence his scream.
“Fuck,” Xavi grunted against him, his hands framing Lulu’s face as he held him through the aftermath of his orgasm. “Fuck, Lulu. That was…”
“I know.” Lulu didn’t recognize his own voice, so raw and vulnerable. Hefeltvulnerable too. There was no coming back from this. A kiss, sure. Making out in the rain, perhaps. But coming in Xavi’s arms like this? There was no coming back from that, and somehow, looking into Xavi’s dark eyes, Lulu knew Xavi realized it too.
Gently clasping Xavi’s hand, he pulled it from his face, tangling his fingers through Xavi’s, and pulling it to his lips, where he pressed soft kisses against Xavi’s knuckles. A succession of small gasps left Xavi’s lips as Lulu continued to kiss the scarred, bumpy skin, his tongue dipping out occasionally, licking along the outline of the knuckles.
“Lulu… what are you—”
“Shhh,” he whispered against Xavi’s hand, and he felt Xavi freeze against him. “It’s okay,” he reassured him, promised him. “Let me taste you, feel you. Please.” Xavi relaxed some, but he was no longer hard, his arousal evaporating with Lulu’s kisses against his marred skin and where his two fingers were missing. “You’re beautiful,cariño. More beautiful than you’ll ever know.”
“Lulu—”
“Shhh. Let me. Let me, please.”
Let me love you, he wanted to say, but he knew it was too soon. Not for him, but for Xavi, who was still so locked in his mind of who he was and what he could never be. Lulu’s lover. In his heart, Xavi had been his lover all along. Now he just had to convince Xavi that they could be in all ways that mattered. In every way. He knew it would take some time, but he’d had enough of that. He could be patient.
Xavi nodded slowly, his gaze dipping back to his hand and Lulu’s mouth, before he closed his eyes. Trailing kisses along Xavi’s skin, tracing the outline of every scar and line with his tongue, Lulu felt Xavi harden again, his hips slowly moving against Lulu’s core. He hardly noticed the cool stickiness in his pants. It didn’t matter. He was so far removed from anything bodily at this point, all his senses so focused on Xavi’s pleasure.
A long sigh left Xavi’s body as he slowly surrendered. His black lashes fluttered against his skin as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, not to stifle his sounds of pleasure—Lulu was sure it wasn’t that—but because he was slowly giving in to the feel of Lulu’s mouth against the most vulnerable part of himself. The evidence of what Xavi had lost and the pain he carried with him daily, like a worn-out overcoat you just couldn’t let go of. Because if you did, you would be entirely naked, and that was fucking frightening.
The pain. Xavi’s pain. It was fucking palpable, and something rose inside Lulu; this overwhelming need to take it away or at least some of it, share it with Xavi, so it wasn’t his burden to carry alone. Perhaps one day Lulu would be brave enough to do it too. Show Xavi his own pain, which he’d buried so deep inside for years, focusing on Manu, focusing on just forging ahead, not dwelling on the past and its violence. Sucking Xavi’s knuckles into his mouth, Lulu swallowed down all the hurt and the loss. Xavi gasped, his eyes blowing wide open, shame filling them, his lips shaped into a silentno. Lulu sucked harder, widening his lips and relaxing his jaw as he made room for more of Xavi’s hand. Xavi regarded him, horrified, yet the arousal was still there, lingering in his eyes, his hardness digging into Lulu’s core.
“Mmmmhhh,” Lulu moaned, swallowing around Xavi.
“Shit,” Xavi gritted. “That’s… shit.” His entire body trembled as desire pulled at him. Lulu noticed it. The small signs of Xavi slowly giving in to his desire.
Pulling Xavi’s hand from his mouth, a string of drool clung from Lulu’s bottom lip, suspended between them, connected to Xavi’s knuckles. Looking up at Xavi, their eyes locked onto each other, and Lulu whispered, “I can taste your pain,cariño. It’s mine now. Let me take it away.”
