“I can’t fucking sleep like this.”
Lulu snorted against his shoulder, then slid down from Xavi’s body.
“Okay, you can spoon me, but no funny business,oso.” Lulu reached for Xavi’s hand, tangling his fingers through Xavi’s, brushing his thumb along Xavi’s broken hand.
“And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow I kiss my trialnoviogood morning, feed him breakfast, and then we take it from there.”
“By breakfast, I sure hope you mean actual breakfast,” Xavi slurred.
“Coño, hermano, what do you take me for? We only just kissed. I’m not a hussy.”
“That wasn’t a kiss,” Xavi grunted, wrapping his arm around Lulu, tugging him closer against his side, and for a moment it sounded like Lulu whimpered—fucking whimpered—against him.
“Of course it was a kiss. I was there, remember?”
“Oh, that?” Xavi huffed. “You call that kissing? That wasn’t kissing. It was a mere exchange of saliva.” Xavi was such a fucking liar. It was the best kiss of his miserable fucking life. “It was just tongues tangling. The pressure of lips against lips.” Fuck, now he wanted to do it again. Steal all breath from Lulu’s lungs, until he was a panting, gasping mess beneath him. Then suddenly he felt it. A subtle whisper of bravery. A newfound force within gave Xavi the courage to speak the next part. “When you’ve been kissed by me,cisne, I mean really fucking kissed, you won’t be able to stand on your feet, or feel your lips, or even remember your own fucking name.” Xavi had no idea where this version of him had surfaced from, but he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself even if he’d wanted to.
“Cisne?!” Lulu gasped.
Fuck.Out of everything he’d just said, Lulu’s brain had, of course, locked on to that secret name, like a shark smelling blood from miles away.
“Lul—”
“I fucking knew it!” Lulu sat up, his eyes burning brightly in the frail light from the streetlights seeping through the window. Reaching for Xavi’s wrist, he brushed his fingers possessively against the small swan tattoo. “I fucking knew it,” he whispered.
“It’s from a book.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”
“It is.”
“Liar.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Maybe I am,” Lulu sighed, as he lay down next to Xavi, resting his head against Xavi’s chest, just above Xavi’s delusional, lying heart. “But I’m also a fucking genius.” He yawned, his fingers slipping underneath Xavi’s T-shirt, trailing along the waistline of his jeans. “Now sleep,oso. Tomorrow you can read that poem to me.”
“It’s not a poem.”
“Como?”
“It’s a novel, actually.” Xavi had no idea why he suddenly felt the need to admit that to Lulu. Maybe it was just the sum of everything that had happened today. It felt like they’d been on the road for days, weeks, even, with how much Xavi’s life had been rocked off its foundation. A foundation he’d assumed was solid and unshakable. Perhaps today had just left him raw.
“You’re writing a book about me,oso?” Lulu’s voice was teasing, his fingers burrowing into Xavi’s stomach.
“It’s not about you.”
“Right,” Lulu snorted. “It’s abouthim.My mistake.”
“Goodnight, Lulu.”
“Goodnight,mano.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lulu
