“That’s the one.”
“She’s hot.”
I roll my eyes and grin back, trying to remember the old Dennis. The Dennis before Geoff and Professor Mitchell. He’s hard to bring back after everything he went through. “I guess she’s hot if you’re a straight dude, which I’m not, but I can appreciate her.”
Wes waggles his brows. “She’s got delicious curves.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“Nice beard, by the way. New look for a new Dennis?”
I inwardly wince because Iama new Dennis; Wes just doesn’t know by how much.
I rub my fingers through it. “You like?”
He tilts his head, his eyes filled with concern, as he sees right through me. “Den, what happened that night at the party? You’ve been different since then. You seemed okay during graduation, but then I stopped seeing you around. You were packed up and gone.”
And here I thought it was a crisis averted. “Nothing happened. Geoff texted to call things off.”
He sits up, his blue eyes turning into saucers. “What the fuck? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? Why’d he end things? What did the prick say?”
“It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter anymore. He just wanted to move on.”
“I’m so sorry, man. Breakups fucking suck.”
Shit, it’s too easy to lie to Wes, and I feel like such an asshole. Mike’s a different story. Hell, Mike doesn’t even know I have a boyfriend…Had.
“No wonder you’ve been off.”
I shrug. “I’m fine. Really.”
I’m so not fucking fine, but I can’t deal with this right now.
“Let’s go eat some of Mom’s delicious food.”
I gesture toward my door. The sinking feeling hits the pit of my gut, knowing that I’ll still have to live my life, even through my pain. I’ll still have to talk to people even though I don’t want to. I’ll still have to go to work starting Monday. I’ll still have to face… Mike.
Wes and I head downstairs. I’m forced to smile, shake hands with my parents’ friends, accepting their congratulations and my parents’ bragging rights that they’ve got their second graduate.
My face fucking hurts from all the smiles. I’ve never wanted to frown more.
Finally, I can eat. I load my plate up with Mom’s famous mac ‘n’ cheese, some smoked sausage, a salad, and some cornbread. Wes heads off to talk to the daughter of the Fords, my parents’ best friends.
Corinne and Jim Ford have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Jim owns a few fishing boats, supplying local restaurants, and Corinne owns a floral shop. Their daughter Carley has always had a crush on Wes, but she’s a couple of years younger, so he’s never been interested. But now that she’s twenty and in college, it’s another story.
I head off to eat my food in solitude, but before I’ve taken two steps, I sense him. It’s like an electric current, tugging on me. The dining room has a straight view of the front door, so I lift my head to look.
The moment I see Mike step through the front door, my breath whooshes out of me, my heart starts racing, and my eyes instantly water. He looks so good with a light tan from working outdoors, and his light brown hair threaded with gold. He’s beautifully awkward when he enters with his mom, hands shoved in his jeans’ pockets, not yet seeing me.
It’s then that I realize Geoff was right. I’ve always held Mike on a pedestal, but the thing is, he belongs there. I just didn’t realize how muchit affected my relationship with Geoff. I really did try to do right by him, but I guess I failed.
I can’t do this. I’m not ready.
If he talks to me, I’m going to fucking lose it.
Not here. Not now. I can’t do that to Mom, who worked so hard to put this together.
I become painfully aware of all the love I still have for Mike. It never truly diminished. I only pushed him aside to move on with my life, trying to find love where I could, because he’ll never want more than friendship with me. And that hurts.
