God, I wanted Mike to be there so badly. I wanted him to see me graduate because he would’ve been so proud of me. Instead, I ignored his texts, consumed by humiliation. Had he been there, he would’ve seen my shame, and then I would’ve been forced to tell him what happened. I just couldn’t face him. I was barely hanging on to my sanity as it was. If I’d seen him, I would’ve fucking broken.
It’s morning, and I need to get up to shower and get ready for brunch. Instead, I lay in bed yawning and reading my texts from Mike, Wes, and Aaron. Wes has written more because he’s a persistent and energetic bastard. Mike has texted less because he likes to give me spacewhen I need it. He never pushes me. Or hell, maybe that’s just the kind of guy he is, which is what I’ve always liked about him.
I’ve already read all the messages, so I’m not sure why I’m reading them again. I guess because they’re comforting in a way, knowing there are people out there who love me.
Mike:I can’t believe you’re graduating already.
Mike:Do you want me to come? I mean, if you just want family
there, that’s cool, too.
Mike:Congratulations on graduating! Your parents sent me a pic
of you in your gown.
Mike:I’m so proud of you.
That last message is from yesterday, and it makes my eyes water and my bottom lip tremble. I’m not sure why I’m reacting to it this way. There’s nothing in the message that’s emotionally upsetting. I can’t figure it out.
Mike:You up yet, lazy pants? Can’t wait to see you!
Mike:Willow misses you, too. I’ll bring her to brunch.
Mike:We can see what trouble she stirs up.
Mike:Just keep her away from your mom’s famous poblano mac
‘n’ cheese. Can you imagine?
My laugh is wet as I swipe some tears from my face. He hasn’t complained once that I haven’t reached out to him or asked me why.
I sit up, grab a tissue from my nightstand, and blow my nose. I haven’t been crying all that much; mostly, I’ve just been feeling bleh. I just haven’t been myself. But Mike brought it out of me with his messages.
That’s his last message. Next, I scroll to Aaron’s. There’s only one from graduation day.
Aaron:Congrats, nerd!
Aaron:Seriously, I’m so damn proud of you. I wish I could be
there, but I just can’t get away from this paper I’m writing.
The deadline is coming up quickly. See you in a few weeks.
If I’d been feeling better, I would’ve responded with a slew of my own name-calling, all in fun.
Next is Wes.
Wes:Dude! We got back into town, and you’ve fucking ghosted
me.
Wes:What the hell is wrong?
Wes:Answer the fucking phone, man.
Wes:You seemed fine at graduation. What’s changed?
Wes:Well, screw you. I’ll be at brunch tomorrow, so get over it.
