As if reading his mind, Finn whispered, “Nah, you won’t come. That’s okay too, Hank. I guess some things are better left as they are.” With a final nod, he adjusted the backpack over his shoulder and offered Hank the saddest-looking attempt at a smile that Hank had ever seen on his beautiful face. “Thank you, Hank,” he whispered. “For everything.”
Turning around, he walked across the drive, gravel crunching beneath his boots, his golden locks disappearing under the red scarf. Lulu came around the car, a broad smile on his face, reaching for Finn’s backpack, and throwing it in the back.
“You ready,titi?”
“Yeah. I’m ready.” Finn nodded, Hank willing him to look over his shoulder just one last time, but his posture remained stoic, frozen, as he went around the back of the car, toward the passenger side.
“You good,hermano?”Xavi spoke over the music, his gaze shifting between Finn and Hank. Finn nodded as he got in the car and closed the door behind him. The ignition started, and Lulu hurried, jumping in the back seat while spewing somethingunintelligible at Xavi, who just shrugged. Rolling down the window, Lulu leaned out, his face bright.
“Thank you for everything, Hank,” he yelled, reaching out his arms and waving around. “Hasta la vista, Hayley’s Peak.”
“Roll up the fucking window, will ya?” Xavi scowled. “You’re letting out all the fucking heat.” Throwing Hank one final smile, Lulu closed the window, and the car sped out of the drive, the crunching sound beneath the tires reverberating through Hank’s chest, imitating the pathetic sound of his own heart breaking.
Unable to watch Finn disappear from his life irrevocably, he turned around and walked the few steps to the porch, the sound of the retreating car eventually fading into nothing. Reaching the porch, he sat down on the bottom step, resting his arms on his legs, the quiet surrounding him until a mournful voice broke through the quiet. There was a rushing noise, and out of the corner of his eye, in the periphery, he saw a couple of gray birds landing on a branch in a nearby pine tree.Of course.For nearly a month and a half, Finn had stayed in Nebraska, searching high and low for that goddamn bird. And now, as if in one last mockery to Hank, it showed itself in all its dull and unimpressive glory.Right.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Finn
Then
“So, what can I do for ya?” Henry smiled at him while collecting a stack of papers from the reception counter. “You just about ready for tomorrow? Need any last-minute immunizations for the road?” He winked teasingly.
Finn shrugged.Define ready, he wanted to say, but instead, he just settled on, “Yeah, I guess. I mean, ready. I guess I’m ready.” He wassonot ready. In fact, he was freaking out, switching between wanting to puke his guts out or laughing hysterically whenever he thought of going home.
“You don’t sound too convinced there.” Henry tilted his head, an inquisitive glimmer in his blue eyes. “What’s up?” He crossedhis arms in front of his chest, throwing Finn an and-don’t-give-me-any-bullshit-answers look. An outdrawn sigh left Finn’s chest, his eyes coasting across the counter, a small teddy bear with a stethoscope resting against a potted plant.
“I just…” Fuck. Suddenly, his mouth felt impossibly dry, a building headache reminding him he’d slept like crap for the past couple of nights.
“What?” Genuine concern tinted Henry’s voice, his blue eyes gentle and forthcoming. “You can tell me. Anything you tell me stays in this room, you know that, right? It stays between you and me.” And as if he could read Finn’s mind, Henry added, “I won’t even tell Colton if you don’t want me to.” Finn nodded, the words lingering on the tip of his tongue. The words that had gone on repeat in his head for the past three days.
“I just… I just wish he would’ve asked me to stay.” Henry nodded solemnly, his eyes not leaving Finn’s. “Until spring, at least.”
“Yeah, me too,” Henry said, and Finn had a hard time believing he was hearing him correctly. “Kinda surprised he didn’t, to be honest. Surprised the hell outta Colton too. Thought for sure, he was gonna ask you to stay until spring.” Henry paused, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. “Or perhaps indefinitely.” Finn looked up, stunned at that last remark. “Don’t look so surprised,” Henry chuckled. “Hank’s head over heels for ya. Or well, you know, as much as a guy like Hank can be head over heels for someone.”
“You think?” Finn whispered needily. He was way past pretending at this point, and there was just something reassuring about the way Henry was looking at him.
“Fuck yes! I haven’t seen that look on his face since Eugene.” Finn nodded, biting his bottom lip.
“Then, is it wrong for me to want him to tell me? To ask me to stay? To give me a reason to stay?”
“Of course not. Look, I’m sure Hank thinks he’s doing the right thing. Letting you go,” Henry continued, a wistful expression sweeping across his face. “Sometimes people do things because they think that it’s for the best. When really, it’s not.” Finn didn’t know much about Henry’s past, but he could tell that he wasn’t speaking in general terms and that Henry, too, had perhaps been at a crossroads in his life. “And I don’t disagree with you going home to make amends with your family—if there’s something there that needs fixin’, thatcanbe fixed, then you need to go do it.”
“But?” Finn chuckled half-heartedly, because he felt that there was an ill-disguisedbuthidden somewhere in that sentence. Henry smiled, exhaling deeply.
“It’s not for me to judge or to meddle, even though, God knows, Hank meddled when it was Colton and I who were struggling. But that man…” A smile tugged at Henry’s lips. “ThoseDietrich men,” he corrected. “They not only need a push sometimes. They need a kick in their butt to see what’s right in front of them, you know?” Finn nodded. Boy, did he know.
“Sometimes you meet someone, and there’s this strange familiarity. Almost as if you’ve been in that exact same moment before. You know what I mean? Walked the same steps and felt the same ray of sunshine caressing your face in that particular way. This sense of finally… being at peace with yourself and the world. Of coming home. The rest of the noise just fades away, into the background, and what’s left is what matters. What will only ever matter.Youandhim.” A wet sheen coated Henry’s eyes, and he shrugged apologetically, sniffling loudly.
“Wow,” Finn smiled, the image that Henry was painting so familiar, so vivid. Because, of course, he knew that feeling. “You sure you’re supposed to be a veterinarian?”
“What do you mean?” Henry tipped his chin, a puzzled frown between his blond brows.
“I just think your calling lies elsewhere. You should be a poet,” he mumbled.
“Nah, I’d be no good.” Henry shrugged. “All my poems would just be about him, anyway.”Him. Him. Him,Finn’s heart echoed.
“Henry, can I ask you something?”
