“Yes! You should totally come!” Lulu squealed. “Road trip, baby!”
“Don’t…” Xavi spoke, shaking his head. Then, looking at Finn, he added, “No problem,hermano. There’s room for one more, believe it or not.”
“Hank?” Finn asked, his eyes flickering back and forth between Hank’s, uncertainty painted across his beautiful face that Hank had kissed repeatedly this morning, hummingbeautiful boyagainst Finn’s damp skin.
“Yeah,” Hank heard himself replying through a daze, his eyes dropping to his plate as he continued to speak the stupidest words ever spoken by a man. “You should do that, Finn. No need waiting. Go home for Christmas.”
He registered Finn nodding next to him, even heard him swallow—the most pitiful sound in the world at that moment.
“Okay,” Finn breathed, his voice hesitant and almost inaudible. “If you think so, Hank, I guess I could do that. No need to wait any longer, I guess.” He could feel the cold in the room as if someone had cracked a window, the chill spreading down his spine. Without moving, he felt Finn pulling away from him. It was the strangest thing, really, because in that moment, it occurred to Hank that he’d just made a big mistake. Of epic proportions, really, but somehow—because that was the kind of idiot he apparently was—he just managed to nod and sayyes, please,when Tilly asked if he wanted a refill.Yes, please.That was, apparently, the best he could do. Funny how your mouth could speak one thing while your heart screamed something else.
“Great!” Lulu slammed his hands loudly against the counter. “Now, where’s the motel, and please tell me, it’s not calledBatesbecause a stalker is one thing, but a psycho with mommy issues… I’ll pass on that.”
Chapter Thirty
Finn
Now
“You okay, kid?” Hank hummed against his hair, his solid arms tightening around Finn’s shoulders, squeezing him impossibly tight.
No.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” He nuzzled closer against Hank’s chest, burying his entire face in the generous coat of thick chest hair—his wild, wild woods—the coarse strands roughing up his cheeks and chin just the way he liked it. It hadn’t been a good day if his face wasn’t burning from rubbing against Hank’s chest hair and his thighs weren’t pulsing deliciously from Hank sucking his marks all over the sensitive skin. Sniffing him in, almost as if hecould inhale a piece of Hank that would forever stay with him, he poked out his tongue and licked lazily around Hank’s protruding nipple.
“Jesus, kid,” Hank winced, goose bumps blossoming across his chest and pecs as he shivered beneath Finn.
“Can’t we just fuck instead of talking?” Finn hummed, rubbing his cock against Hank’s thick thigh, the hair teasing his cock head deliciously. Of course, they needed to talk because, after three days, the roads had cleared sufficiently for a FIAT 500 to venture out of Hayley’s. Tomorrow was D-day.
“Now, there’s a catchy slogan if I ever heard one,” Hank chuckled, his chest rippling beneath Finn’s lips causing them to buzz.
“Can we?Please?”Fuck, Hank had already declined him twice, Finn growing more and more impatient, needy, and desperate by the second.
“It’s not what you need, kid,” Hank spoke matter-of-factly, like a doctor denying a patient the drug he’d grown addicted to. He was, wasn’t he? Fucking addictive, this solid man beneath him who never spoke much, but when he did, there was a strange profoundness to it. Of course, he knew it was a bad idea to fuck. It would only make him miss Hank more in the end. “It won’t make the nervousness go away.”No, but it might make me black out and go into an orgasm-induced coma.
“Ugh, why are you being such a sensible grown-up all of a sudden?” If it wasn’t because he was lying down, Finn was convinced that he would’ve stomped his feet like a petulant three-year-old. Not that he’d ever been a petulant three-year-old, but he remembered when Cara was one, and she would throw a hissy fit of apocalyptic proportions in the candy section if she didn’t get a cherry lollipop right.this.fucking.minute.thank.you.very.much.Mom. Instead, he settled on biting into Hank’s fleshy right pec muscle.
“What the hell!” Hank groaned, his hand grabbing the long hair at the back of Finn’s neck, pulling him roughly away like one would pull a bloodsucking beast from you.
“You know you want to,” Finn hissed, Hank’s hold on him only pushing at his libido, his balls growing heavy against his thighs. “You know you wanna bury that fat cock of yours inside my little boy hole, dontcha Daddyyy?”
“Enough with the games,” Hank hissed. There was a strange contradiction in Hank’s entire posture, his fat cock hard and warm against Finn’s hip, a warning edge to his deep voice. “It’s the last thing you need, kid, so knock it off.” Hank held him tighter, stilling his jittery movements that he hadn’t realized he was making. “It won’t make the anxiousness go away. It’s okay to be… to be scared, Finn.” The gentleness was back in Hank’s voice, Finn’s name spoken with such fondness and carefulness that he could almost pretend for one second that Hank might love him back. “It’s okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.Areyou scared?”
“Yeah, a little. But not because I’m afraid that they won’t want me back, you know. Or that they won’t forgive me.” He raised his head, tipping it back, looking up at where he knew Hank’s face must be in the darkness. “I mean, it’s gonna break my heart if they won’t, but I can still be okay with that. I know I’ll be okay.”Now, he wanted to add.Now that I know you are out there and that you care about me.
“Why are you scared, then?” Hank asked, the soft calm of his voice sweeping over Finn, reminding him what he was truly afraid of.
“I’m… I’m afraid that I’ll never find this again, Hank. This… quiet. This peace where all the thoughts inside my head are finally still, and there’s just nothing. Except for this… I don’tknow. This feeling of justbeingthat I’ve found here in Hayley’s.”With you,he wanted to add.Only with you, Hank.
“You will,” Hank murmured, his warm breath coasting along Finn’s chin like a tender caress. “Being at peace with yourself and who you are ain’t somethin’ you can find outside of yourself. It’s somethin’ you find within, I think.”
“You think so?” His voice sounded feeble, frail, to his own ears. “But what if I can’t? What if I don’t work that way?” All his life, it had felt like his happiness and his peace of mind had been depending on other people. First, on whether Aunt Molly had a good day, later he measured his happiness up against his parents’ praise and his sister’s smiles. He knew, of course, that the expectations were all in his mind, but they were impossible to shake, nonetheless. It was only with Hank that he didn’t have to live up to anything. Hank, a constant calming factor in his life who never asked him for anything he couldn’t give but gave so much back in return.
A low sigh grew in Hank’s chest as he reached for Finn, placing both of his heavy hands on his shoulders.
