Now that Colton had begun talking, it was like a faucet being opened. Like a band aid being ripped off. Suddenly, he couldn’t stop. And Henry once again seemed to understand exactly what he needed as he stood quietly next to Colton, holding his hand, squeezing it in silent reassurance.
“You remember the name I was yelling in my dream? There was this guy, Will. We were in the same squad in Yemen. He was my friend. Almost like a younger brother, you know. At first, that is. Now I’m not so sure anymore. I think it was more than that. I mean, nothing happened or anything. But looking back now, I think something could’ve easily happened, if I’d known back then what I know now. You know that I might like men too. That I might be demisexual.”
Colton felt his chest rising and falling with each word drawing him closer to a truth that had been hidden for too long. Henry stood next to him, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.
“When I look back now, it’s like I’m suddenly seeing everything in colors where before it was just black and white… I think Will liked me more than a friend. Yeah, I think he did.” The final words were spoken with regret but not because of the missed opportunity at something more.
“What happened to him?” Henry asked, his voice no more than a whisper in the silence between them.
He knew he had to tell Henry. He had to tell him everything if he wanted to move on with him. The words, though. The words were difficult. He looked at Henry, indigo eyes looking back at him with kindness, comfort and sympathy. Not pity. No, never pity.
“He died.” As soon as those two words spilled from Colton’s mouth, it was like being brought back in time to that day all over again. Like watching Will die again. Losing him. It was a feeling unlike any other. Similar to being punched in the stomach with an iron fist. Feeling the air leave your lungs until you couldn’t breathe.
Before Colton realized what had happened, he felt his legs give way beneath him and he dropped to his knees on the cold ground.
“He died,” he repeated as he felt warm, strong arms engulfing him in a world of softness. He sensed tears trailing down his cheeks, like rivers of sadness, nothing to stop them now that the dam had broken. Tears that had made a home out of his body for so long but were now being set free.
Determined fingers were trailing through his hair while a soft voice whispered words of reassurance and comfort in his ear.
“It’s okay. Everything will be okay. I’ve got you.”
And somehow, he believed that. That eventually things could be okay. Maybe even more than okay.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Henry
HENRY HAD PRETENDEDto be asleep the last five minutes or so, enjoying the sensation of Colton’s warm lips on his skin. The lazy kisses trailing from the top of his spine and all the way down to his waist. The sweet burn of Colton’s stubble on his oversensitive skin. Like millions of ants running up and down his back. Even if it were only faint murmurs, he could hear Colton’s raspy morning voice humming with want. Whispering sweet nothings against the surface of his heated skin.
It was still early. The colors of dawn not yet visible in the dark, greyish winter sky. After Colton’s confession last night at the creek, they’d gone back to Henry’s place and made love. It had been slow, yet intense. Colton had clung to him like he was an extension of his own body while he’d moved inside Henry. Hot tears mixed with sweat and saliva as he’d continued to kiss Henry as if there were a time limit to the kisses. Whispered endearments and fragments likebaby, need you, so soft, you feel it too?had accompanied each drawn out, bruising kiss.
Suddenly, Henry was flipped to his back and in one smooth movement Colton took him all the way to the back of his throat. He heard a gasp slip from his own mouth and his hips rose from the mattress.
“Jesus, fuck, Colton!” he blurted as he grabbed for something to hold on to, anything. He fisted the sheets just when Colton swallowed around him. He was humming around Henry’s cock head, his broad tongue sliding along the sensitive vein. It was too much. And yet, it wasn’t enough. It was everything all at once and he felt the need to push Colton away and pull him closer at the same time.
“Colton... I… I need… I can’t… fuck!” It felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest and his limbs, although tense, were becoming jelly-like, making him feel like he was melting into the mattress.
Colton slowly released him from his glorious mouth and smiled up at him. He licked his lips slowly, still smiling, the boyish dimple popping in his left cheek.
“What do you need, sweetheart? You can tell me. Tell me what you need.” Colton’s voice came out raspy, while his thick fingers trailed along the crease of Henry’s ass, brushing against his hole with the tip of one finger.
“I… I want…” he heard his own needy voice grasping for words that could express what he wanted. What he needed. What he craved.
Colton shook his head, grinning.
“Nu uh, sweetheart, you’re gonna have to do better than that or I’m gonna have to keep guessing all morning.” He raised his left index finger towards Henry’s mouth and forced it past his lips. His gaze was piercing, pearls of sweat breaking through the skin of his temples and glistening in his dark brows. “Open wide, sweetheart,” Colton coaxed. “Suck it.” He demanded. “Make it nice and sloppy for that tight, pink hole of yours. My hole.”
“Oh God,” Henry heard himself moan around Colton’s intrusive finger. He closed his eyes and circled his tongue around the digit, imitating the act of sucking Colton’s dick. He tasted himself on the tip, causing him to moan even more. It was as if all conscious thought had abandoned him, vacated his mind, leaving only pure instinct behind.This is what you were born forhis body whispered.You were born to be fucked by this man.
“That’s it, sweetheart. You make it real wet and slippery for me. Don’t want to hurt my sweetheart when I stretch him. Making him ready to take my cock.”
“Fuck!” he nearly screamed as Colton continued to fuck his mouth with his thick, blunt finger. How was this Colton? This filthy, demanding lover grinding his large cock against his own was a far cry from the shy man he’d encountered only a few weeks back. The same man who’d crumbled in his arms last night, confessing his deepest secrets to him.
But there was no doubt that this version was also Colton. It was a naked Colton, giving himself to him and taking in return from Henry exactly what he wanted and needed. Colton withdrew his finger from his mouth and trailed it along Henry’s neck, across his heaving chest. Once he reached Henry’s ass, he spread his cheeks apart with his large hands. Then Henry felt the fingertip, slick with his own spit, circle his hole before it slipped inside. He clenched around the intruding finger while Colton licked his inner thigh agonizingly slow. Sensations exploded in his mind and in the cavity of his chest. He heard himself moaning, but it sounded distant. Foreign, even. He almost didn’t recognize the primal sound of his own voice leaving his mouth in clipped groans.
Colton added another finger, and he felt the familiar sting, while he clutched the hair at the back of Colton’s head. Slowly, yet insistent, Colton continued to fuck his hole with his fingers. He continued to lick and bite at Henry’s inner thighs. He was going to leave marks. He liked the thought of that. Colton leaving his mark on him. On his skin. And afterwards inside him. Painting his insides with his cum.
Sated he felt Colton’s tongue leave his thigh, trailing even lower until it swiped across his sensitive hole, joining his fingers. He tightened his grip on Colton’s sweaty hair, trying to center himself and not come right then and there.
