The three men cleaned themselves up and exited the small room. As soon as Ryder stepped out, Atlas climbed off us and bounded over to his friend.
“So sexy! You have to watch me next!” he said.
He was about to hug Ryder, and while that was fine in any other circumstance, it was definitelynotwhile he was naked. Absolutely not.
Hugh must have thought the same thing, because as soon as Atlas pulled Ryder into a hug, we yanked him back by his arms. He wasn’t upset or offended. In fact, he beamed at our sudden jealousy.
We said our goodbyes, cleaned up, got dressed, and headed to Hugh’s place. I almost went home, but that would have raised way too much suspicion since I always stayed the night after an evening with Atlas.
I headed home after breakfast, desperate for some alone time. Once we were snuggled in bed last night, things settled down, and it appeared everything was back to normal, except for the chaos raging inside me. I’d never reached a point where I was so torn up over something before.
I hadn’t previously worried because my only concern had been how to handle things if Atlas left us or if it didn’t work out with him. Hugh had barely been a thought because we did everything together, and I’d been fine with that.
All this shit was dumped on me recently because my feelings for Hugh had become nearly unbearable. What a fucking idiot I was not to think of that possible problem once we started something serious with him. I should’ve considered it since this was our first polyamorous relationship.
Every time I ran the consequences through my head based on different decisions I could make, they all turned out to be shit. None of them were ideal. Dammit.
Too many worries and potential consequences were swirling in my mind. I couldn’t find one scenario that left us all happy.
If I left the relationship, what would happen to our jobs and Atlas as our PA? Icouldleave work to pursue my dreams for achange. The only outcome that didn’t seem probable was Hugh loving me back. I thought it would be enough to love only one man, but it wasn’t. I needed both of them.
Fuck, Christmas was coming up soon, too.
The morning was cold, but my hoodie would be fine once I started working on the table I hadn’t finished yet. I shoved in my earbuds, turned on a mix of songs I’d saved on my music app, and donned my goggles.
Most of the piece was done. The surface of the table wasn’t yet attached. I’d already beveled along the edges of the black walnut. All I had to do was sand it all. Once that was done, I’d put the thing together and then glue on the medallions. It would take a bit for the glue to cure, then I’d stain it.
I weaved across the wood grain, sanding the surface. Then I got my tools and wood in my hands. Soon, all my worries vanished into the dark part of my brain.
I finished the main sanding. Next, I switched to fine-grit sandpaper and attached it to my sander to make the wood extra smooth.
As I got lost in smoothing over the surface, my music paused often as someone texted me, but I ignored it. The last thing I wanted was to talk to people.
I was in my zone. I’d talk to them later.
After a couple of hours, I called it quits. The sanding was done. Tomorrow, I’d put the table together. I removed my goggles, wiped the sweat from my forehead with a dirty rag, and checked my phone to see who kept texting me.
Hugh.
Dammit.
There were several texts that spanned a couple of hours.
Hugh: Feeling better today?
Hugh: Want to come by for dinner? I’m
making crab cakes.
Hugh: Atlas is painting in his room.
Have you seen his work lately?
His last text hit home.
Hugh: Talk to me, cuz.
Fucking goddamn ‘cuz.’I’ve never hated a word more than I did at that moment.
