Spencer moves in front of me. I look up, his eyes searching mine before he seems to settle on whatever is going through that big beautiful brain of his, and crawls on me, straddling my lap. My arms wrap around him, squeezing him tight as he holds me. Emotions building up inside finally let loose, and I break down and sob into him. Tears soak the front of his shirt, as he quietly murmurs, “It’s gonna be okay!”
Wrapped up in Spencer’s arms, the name that was evading me earlier comes into focus and guilt rips through my chest as the feeling rushes to overload my senses. Relief! I no longer have to look over my shoulder waiting for this moment. It’s here.
The tears slow, and I take a few deep breaths, trying to regain control. The hold of Spencer’s grip loosens, and he leans back slightly, giving me the chance to see his eyes red and watery.
“I’m sorry. I just walked out on you over there!”
“Oh, please, it’s fine. You have nothing to feel sorry for. It didn’t look like you even knew your body was moving.” He places his hands on both of my cheeks, leaning in. “I’m so sorry about your mom!”
I hang my head down, wondering if he is going to look down at me for the thoughts floating through my head. He also lost his mother, but I’m afraid our feelings on the matter are completely different. His mother was loving and caring, mine… was not.
“What is going through your head right now?”
“I’m worried you are going to think less of me. You lost your own mother and my feelings are—“
“No, no, no… Don’t do that! I willneverthink less of you, ever! And those are both completely different situations.” I finally get the courage to lift my eyes and I’m met with those that are filled with understanding and compassion.
“Relief,” I say, finally getting the courage to say it out loud. “She spoke with such hate, her words always like an anchor weighing me down. I knew when I moved here I was choosing my own path, but I couldn’t shake the fear that she would find a way to suck me back.”
Spencer wipes a tear from my cheek. “Life is a series of choices, and she will always be responsible for the choices she made. She was supposed to be someone who loved and protected you, but she chose differently.” His thumb grips my chin. “She can’t hurt you anymore and she can’t tarnish Jacqueline’s name anymore.”
At the mention of Jacqueline, every emotion rushes through me. Why did she have to be the casualty of whatever hell my mother lived her life in? Out of everyone, she was the one who deserved better.
“Hey,” Spencer says, pulling me away from the depths of my grief. “From here on out, you will only remember the good moments. The moments when you were the best big brother she could have asked for.” A small smile lifts from the corner of his mouth.
I can’t look away.
If I had a normal childhood with loving parents, would I still be where I am today? It is highly unlikely! All the pain and heartache led me to this path I’m on. I wouldn’t trade the chance to love him for anything, even if it meant altering my circumstances.
“Are you going to leave?” The words come out hesitantly, his fiery attitude replaced once again by one of uncertainty.
“I already said my goodbyes and made peace with my past when I left. I don’t need to do it again.” Nothing about what happened has changed. “This,” I say gently, shaking him at his waist, still nestled in my lap, “is my home!” As my words sink in, he puffs out a breath, leaving his lips parted. Lips that I really want to be kissing.
My hand moves to the nape of his neck and I pull his head closer so we are only a whisper apart. “I don’t plan on going anywhere. Spencer… I’m so madly in love with you, I wouldn’t walk away from that for anything.”
I finally close the distance and capture his lips. His soft lips part as he welcomes me home. Our tongues start the slow dance, tasting and licking. My hands glide down his body before resting on the curve of his ass. I curse the fabric along the way.
Spencer runs his fingers through my hair, tugging my head back so that I look into his beautiful eyes, colored in shades of pink.
“I love you, Finn. I thought this was only something you dream about.”
“Or read about!” I smirk, and he chuckles.
“Yes, even read about.”
His mouth crashes down on mine again. My lips bruise from the brutal kiss. A kiss that is filled with a future together.
My fingers play with the hem of his shirt, fingertips toying with the soft skin along his waistband. I could dance my fingers over his skin, memorizing every peak and valley for hours. But that will have to wait because there is a knock on the door.
We pull apart on a groan as Spencer shifts off my lap and we stand. Beckett and Jaxon walk in with matching smirks as we try to adjust our matching erections.
“Hope we aren’t interrupting.” Beckett says.
Jaxon elbows him. “We just wanted to let you know that we are headed out. Everyone helped pick up over there, so you shouldn’t be left with too much of a mess.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that!” says Spencer.
“How are you doing?” Beckett asks, looking at me.
