“That’s not true. We havethis.” Saturnino cupped the back of her head and dragged her to him.
He covered her mouth with his own.
His kiss seared her, a living flame that burned a path straight to her heart. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung on to him, as if he were made of water, as if he were the only source of relief from the wave of heat that coated her skin. He slanted his head and swepthis tongue against hers. He tasted crisp and cool, like a perfect winter day blanketing everything it touched in icy snow.
Saturnino slid both of his hands into her hair, cupping the back of her head. She made a mewling sound, and he laughed against her mouth. Ravenna blushed, hardly recognizing herself. But then he untangled his hands from her hair and swept them down to catch her bottom. He brought her several inches higher, until there was no space left between their bodies, until she felt how much he wanted her.
He groaned, deepened the kiss. His lips against hers made her head spin, a never-ending loop of primitive possession. She didn’t want him to stop. He held her as if he couldn’t get enough of her, as if she were a plume of smoke that might slip from his desperate grasp. He was breathing fast, caught up in the moment.
Ravenna tunneled her hands into the silk of his black hair. “Saturnino,” she pleaded raggedly. Ravenna didn’t know what she was asking for, all she knew was the torrent of emotion building inside her, wanting to escape. She didn’t know how to free it.
He pulled away slightly, and murmured “Shhh” against her mouth. His breath brushed her chin as he dragged his lips lower. With infinite care, he trailed his finger down the smooth column of her throat, past her collarbone. She watched, transfixed, as his finger parted her robe, revealing one of her breasts.
He drew in a sharp, unsteady inhale.
Then he lowered his head, his black hair gleaming softly in the hazy lighting, and pulled her nipple deep into his mouth. Ravenna tilted her head back, staring blankly above her at the swath of fabric draped over the canopy bed. He used the flat of his tongue to lick her once. Goose bumps flared up and down her arms, her legs, and she shivered.
“Saturnino,” she said again, this time in a broken whisper. She poured all of her want, all of her confusion into every syllable of his name.
Abruptly he released her and she staggered backward, droppingonto the bed with a startled gasp. Her robe parted at the waist, and his eyes latched on to her bare legs, gleaming golden in the candlelight.
“Fuck,” he snarled, and he tore his gaze away, breathing hard. He stared off into the distance, visibly trying to control himself. His hands were curled into tight fists, the line of his shoulders taut with tension. He clenched and unclenched his jaw.
In all the time she had known him, Ravenna had never seen him visibly at war with himself. He looked undecided, confused, and utterlyshattered.
He was also furious. At her, at himself.
Ravenna understood his frustration. What had bloomed between them underwater was as real as it was inconvenient. It was a dangerous risk that could destroy them both. She stood, her legs wobbly. “I don’t suppose it helps to know that I feel the same way?”
“No,” he muttered.
Ravenna nodded to herself, unsurprised. It was exactly as she thought. Worse, maybe. “You regret it.”
“Yes,” he said, without hesitation. “But not for the reason you think.”
She used the robe to cover her legs and stood, her knees shaking. “It doesn’t matter. I’m tired of playing this game with you, I won’t do it anymore. I can’t.”
“Ravenna,” he said, his dark green eyes pleading and hollowed out. “For the first time in my life, I’m trying…” His voice trailed off with a slight shake of his head, as if he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his own mouth. “I’mtryingto do the right thing. You need to stay away from me.” He winced. “Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say thatIneed to stay away from you.”
“Don’t you think I understand the risks?” Ravenna asked quietly. “I’m trying.”
“I won’t,” he said bleakly. “I can’t.”
Ravenna waited for more, but he fell silent. “That’s it? That’s all you’ll tell me?” Exasperation flooded her. She moved to her bedroom door. “Leave, then, if you’re going to talk in riddles.”
She opened the door, but Saturnino crowded behind her and slammed it, his palm flat against the carved wood, to keep her from opening it again. The front of his doublet brushed against her back, his breath swept across the curve of her neck.
“Ravenna,” he whispered into her ear. “I’m not playing a game anymore. Not with you.”
“I don’t believe you—”
Saturnino spun her around, slamming his hands on either side of her head. His voice was a near yell, edged in despair. “In seventeen days, I’ll be dead.”
Capitolo Trentadue
Ravenna gaped at him. Her knees crumpled, and his hands slid down, wrapping around her waist. He managed to keep her upright, but she felt as if she were still falling. “No.”
“I’m under a spell.”
