Saturnino drew closer. A single step. “And now?”
“That depends,” she said.
He stilled. “On?”
“Will you unleash that war machine on Volterra?” Ravenna took a step toward him when he blinked at her in surprise. “I told you. I heard everything.”
“Not everything,” he countered.
She scoffed. “Enough to—”
“—I told Lorenzo I would not support him using the machine on Volterra.”
Her voice broke off.
“Tell me what it is you want,” he said. “Please.”
“I want to get me and my brother out of this war alive,” Ravenna said softly.
“Beyond that. What do you want?”
She paused, unsure. An earlier version of herself would have said that she wanted to return home and manage the inn for her parents. But she did want something else. A long-held secret wish. Saying it out loud felt scary, and reckless. Incredibly vulnerable. Ravenna licked her lips, pushed through her hesitation. “I want to have my own studio where I can sculpt.”
“You ought to have one.” He took another step closer. “Anything else?”
For a heart-stopping moment, Ravenna almost told him the truth. The messy, confusing, exasperating truth. How he had snuck under her skin, tormented her with glimpses of his heart, his humanity. A softness he kept ruthlessly hidden. But she knew it was there. “Is our bargain the only reason why you want to save my life?”
Saturnino took another step closer and stared down at her upturned face. They were inches apart now. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”
“I’m terrified of you,” she whispered. If she were brave enough, she would elaborate, but she fell silent. She had already revealed far too much. Tension curled around them, embracing them both. There was no escaping it. Ravenna waited for him to use her fear, herfeelings,as a weapon to slice her through.
But his next words weren’t what she was expecting.
“Why did you stay with me?” he demanded, his voice low and rapid. All trace of the lounging and arrogant nobleman had vanished. A sudden flare of vulnerability burst in the dark depths of his eyes. It nearly took her breath away. It was too much. She turned her head away, fighting for composure.
Saturnino tucked his index finger under her chin and brought her back to him.
“Why did you stay with me below water, Ravenna?” Saturnino repeated.
“Why did you fight Marco, Saturnino?” she countered.
His jaw snapped shut with an audible click, his expression furious and raw, as if he’d reached the absolute limit. “Answer me,” he snapped. “What game are you playing now? What purpose did it serve for you to help me? Did you think I would owe you a favor? That it would make me soft?”
With his every question, his voice rose. She sensed his frustration, his cynical suspicion, but beneath it all, he was desperate to know the truth from her.
Yearnedfor it.
“What do you want me to say, Saturnino?” Ravenna splayed her hands. “I stayed with you because I couldn’t bear to leave you alone in the dark. It destroyed me to leave you at all, knowing you would die, again and again, and it would be terrible and painful. I hated that you suffered. I would have stayed below with you all night just so you didn’t have to endure the horror of it by yourself.” She inhaled deeply, tremulously. “I care about you. I wish I didn’t, I’ve beenmiserable.But I do. Does that make me weak in your eyes? Will you set out to destroy me now that you know what I would do for you?”
His lips stretched into a predatory smile. A gleam of triumph blazed in his dark eyes, as if they had fought a battle andshewas the one who had lost.
Her heart wrenched. She instinctively pressed her hand against her chest. She had wanted to reach behind the jaded worldliness Saturnino fortified himself with, the ever-present sense that he had seen enough of humans to cease being surprised by any of them. Deep down, she hoped that he felt something for her, and that he might let himself feel something pure, no matter how scary and vulnerable.
But he wouldn’t do it, and never would.
Ravenna had told the truth, a battle hard won, but she would not let it cost her the war. She had answered his questions, she had told him as much as she dared. But she would not let him take anything else, especially not her dignity.
“You are ruinous, Saturnino. But I won’t let you ruinme.” Ravenna lifted her chin. “We don’t have a bargain, we don’t have trust. We don’t have anything.”
