So, he’s good with us going out now?
It didn’t come up, because I said we were broken up. But I’ll tell him if we’re together again.
Does she not see the problem here? It feels like a frustrating circle. Sure, Cleo’s enlightened about her brother’s true nature now, but that doesn’t change how her family feels about me.
Please, Mats. It’s only been a few days; can we not go back to where we were? Everything was so great between us. Truly, you’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. And I think I was good for you too.
I understand Cleo. I feel for her. She adores her father, and he doesn’t want me in her life—no amount of explanation is going to change his mind. I honestly don’t want to be the reason she gets alienated from her family.
My eyes meet her hopeful gaze. Cleo, you’re a lovely person. There are lots of guys out there who you can date. And your family will welcome any of them.
That’s not true. My mother wants to meet you. My aunts will love you… Her voice breaks, and her eyes are glistening.
I have to look away. I long to hold her close and make her feel better. She’s happy by nature, and now she’s miserable. But the longer we drag this out, the more we keep hurting ourselves. I don’t want to go through this pain continually.
I step away. I’m so sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone out with anyone so soon after a breakup. I shouldn’t be in a relationship right now.
I walk away rapidly, and this time, she doesn’t come after me. On my way out of the sports complex, I run into Knudy and Smitty.
You guys aren’t at the meeting either? I ask.
No, Coughlin stopped us, Smitty explains.
Knudy leans closer so we can’t be overheard. Did they kick out all the hockey players? Does that mean that the drug investigation is pointing to the hockey teams?
I shake my head. Zee was allowed in.
Smitty frowns. That makes no sense. How come he can go to the meeting and we can’t?
It’s really weird, Knudy agrees. What do the three of us have in common that he doesn’t?
Something scary occurs to me. Could it be Cleo? Has something happened with her that the Athletic Council needs to discuss? There are many possibilities, and none of them are good.
23
WAKE-UP CALL
CLEO
IT’S A TUESDAY, BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO TONIGHT. I’M GOING TO MISS MARJORIE and Geraldine. And, of course, Mats. He was so cold yesterday at the arena, but I can read him now, and he was hurting. Because of what I did. I’ve really fucked up.
Becks drops into the seat beside me at lunch. I drew the short straw in the Who Has to Sit with Oscar the Grouch? contest. So, here I am.
Are you trying to cheer me up? Because it’s not working, I complain.
Becks has been remarkably patient already. First, I unloaded the breakup on her. Then I told her about my trip home, and my hopes that Mats would appreciate everything that I said to Jordan. Then she had to suffer through my second round of misery when Mats wouldn’t change his mind. But my bestie is a woman of limited patience. She’ll be sympathetic for a few days, and then she wants you to buck up.
Oh, come on. You know it doesn’t take you long to get over a breakup. You’ll be telling hilarious bad boyfriend stories in no time. Her get-over-it message is right on schedule.
That’s when I dated jerks. It’s easy to get over a bad relationship, but this is the best guy I’ve ever dated. Besides, I have no bad boyfriend stories about Mats. He’s gorgeous and smart and considerate and fantastic in bed. I rest my forehead on the table.
How fantastic? Becks is used to me spilling all the dirty details.
I lift my head. You know what? I’m not going to relive the excellent sex that I’m never having again. That seems like fucking self-sabotage. Awesome, I’ve reached my peak sexual experience at twenty, and from now on, it will all be downhill.
Becks opens up her chicken wrap. Just trying to find the silver lining.
I never even got to act out any sexual fantasies with him, I moan.
