Hope blinked and then swiped a finger under her eye. “Wow,” she said with a loud sniff. “Bad day for allergies, am I right?”
Levi watched his father wink at his group grief therapist, and he couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Only in Summertown did a man plan a proposal to the second love of his life at a group grief meeting.
There was so much he’d forgotten that he loved about this place, having been away for so long.
“And Levi…?” Hope added. “You can talk about more than just your mom here too. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and people experience different kinds of losses every day.”
Levi swallowed. Had he really lost her? He had tried to fight for her, for them. But Haddie bailed without giving him a chance to make things right.
“Does that mean you’ve talked to Haddie?” he asked.
“I can’t talk about other patients I may or may not see privately,” she explained. “I’m just saying that I’m here to help with all kinds of loss.”
“Doesn’t talking about it mean it’s real?” he asked.
“It does,” Levi’s father chimed in, clapping his son on theshoulder. “But it also helps you let go.”
Levi turned to face both his father and his brother.
“I’m sorry,” he told them, his voice thick with years of being so afraid of those two little words.
“For what?” Denny Rourke asked, his brows furrowing.
“For running back to school the second I finished PT for my knee and never looking back.” He turned to Matteo. “I’mthe big brother, Teo. But I let you shoulder the burden of holding things together when Mom died. I should have been there for you.”
Their father let out a shaky breath and blinked away what looked like the threat of tears. “There is no rule book for how we deal with this kind of loss or for how long it takes to heal.”
“Yeah, man,” Matteo added, bumping his shoulder against Levi’s. “You weren’t able to be there for me then, but I don’t fault you for it. You’re here now, aren’t you?”
Levi’s eyes burned, and he tilted his head toward the ceiling in a feeble attempt to collect himself. But when he met their eyes again, his lashes were damp.
“All these years, I’ve been so sure you resented how fucking afraid I was to be…to be…here.” He motioned around the empty room but hoped they understood he meanthome.
“If I might interject…” Hope suggested, and the three men nodded in unison. “Maybeherewon’t be so scary anymore if you forgive yourself, Levi.”
He pressed the heels of his hands against the dam that was his tear ducts and cleared his throat. “For what?”
“For waiting until you were ready to come home.” Shenodded toward his father and brother. “They’rehappy you’re here. You’re the only one who has ever thought you don’t deserve to come home.”
He swallowed, but before he could agree or disagree with her assessment, they were all interrupted by Tilly Higginson strolling through the door and Levi’s nervous father immediately dropping to his knee.
Tilly yelped and then slowly approached the center of the circle.
“Denny…what are you doing? What if you tweak your back trying to get up again?”
Levi bit back a laugh, grateful for the immediate mood shift, and he could see his brother trying to do the same.
“Then sayyes,” Denny told her. “Say you’ll marry me, and I’ll get off the floor before I do some real damage here.”
She let out a tearful laugh and nodded her head. “Of course I’ll marry you!” She held out a hand, not for the ring yet but to help her new fiancé off the floor, and Levi knew from this moment forward that his father would be loved and cared for unconditionally for the rest of his life, and there was no way he couldn’t be happy about that.
The thing was, though their mom had been sick for a long time before she passed, she never lost her youthfulness. Because of that, Levi couldn’t imagine her as an almost sixty-year-old warning her husband about tweaking his back. He couldn’t imagine a lot of things about her anymore now that she’d been gone so long. What he did remember was his parents’ love and the hope that one day he might have what they had. And now, because the universe hadthe good thought to smile on his father twice, Levi found himself wanting this too—someone who worried about processing his grief ten years after the fact or who patched him up after cutting himself on a broken window. And maybe, if he could find it in his heart to forgive himself for still not knowing how to fully process that grief, he might want those things in a town where he could plant roots. And focus on a new team. And maybe even earn a spot on a favorite things poster one day.
But Haddie had to want him too. And she either didn’t or wouldn’t let herself want what could possibly cause her pain. Because it already had.Levihad.
Despite his promise to leave her be, he fired off one final text before they had to come face-to-face at the wedding tomorrow.
Levi:Last text. Promise. But I need to say what I should have said that night. I’m sorry I hurt you, Haddie. But it’s not because I don’t love you. I do…love you. I messed up, and I own that. Just thought you should know.
