Levi:Trying to give you the space you need, but I went back to grief group today, and you weren’t there. Just tell me you’re okay.
One week later
Levi:Come on, Haddie. We have to talk about this. Are you at least seeing Hope privately? Should I? I get that you don’t want to see me, but I know group is important to you. Are you staying with Emma? Text me something. Anything. Plz.
Two weeks later
Levi:Went to your game last night. Just to see that you were okay. You looked happy when your team won. My team lost our last one, but no one was offside. Silver lining, right?
Levi:It’s supposed to storm tonight. I hope you’re with Emma so you don’t have to wait it out alone.
Levi:So I guess this is it, huh? Message received. I wanted to fight for us, but I can’t do it alone. I’ll stop texting. You know where to find me for at least the next couple of weeks.
During one particularly violent crash of thunder that night, he flung himself out of his bed like a slingshot, rushing to Haddie’s room only to be reminded that she wasn’t there. So, being wildly inexperienced with love and heartache and everything in between, he crawled intoherbed rather than go back to his alone. He could still smell her shampoo on her pillow, could still imagine his legs tangled with hers like tree roots planted so deep and for so long that they couldn’t possibly be unwound.
His chest felt like it had been carved out, leaving him with nothing but a raw, hollow ache.
He’d been running ever since college, trying to outrun any and all pain. And here he was in Haddie’s bed alone, effectively proving his theory that home equaled hurt. Yet more than a decade later, the running hadn’t solved a single thing.
***
Levi had finally gotten used to talking about his mom with a bunch of people who weren’t exactly strangers but also weren’t exactlyfriends. He’d even noticed the painful feelings of loss giving way to the unexpected joy of keeping her memory alive. But when he walked in for his final session before the wedding, he stopped in his tracks when he saw his father and Matteo already sitting in Hope’s circle. Wait, was this why she’d asked him to pop in ten minutes before the group actually started?
“Levi!” Denny Rourke called to his oldest son, then patted the metal chair beside him. “Come on over!”
Levi made it there in a series of halting steps. He knew, according to Tilly, that his dad and Matteo showed up to the grief sessions every now and then. But when they hadn’t come the past couple of weeks when he’d finally started showing up again, he thought he was in the clear.
“Dad!” Levi replied with something mixed between enthusiasm and dread. “Teo,” he added, parking himself in the chair next to his brother rather than his father who he suddenly didn’t trust.
“Is this an ambush?” he asked sarcastically.
Denny laughed. “Not exactly,” he replied, but it still felt like an admission.
Matteo held up his hands. “I have no idea what he’s talking about. He just texted me and said, ‘We’re going to group.’ So I came to group.”
Hope appeared in the meeting space from a side door Levi hadn’t noticed before and nodded toward the three Rourke men. “Okay, Denny,” she began. “Only for you would I arrive ten minutes early. What did you want to talk about?”
Both Levi and Matteo spun to face their father, who had thedecency to look chagrined.
“Busted!” Denny said. Then he produced a blue velvet box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a pretty sizable diamond.
“Aww, Dad. You shouldn’t have!” Matteo held out his hand as if their father was about to slide the ring up his finger.
He swatted his son’s hand away. “Knock it off, jackass. I’m asking Tilly to marry me, but I wanted to run it by you guys first. I wanted to make sure…you know…”
Levi knew. His father wasn’t alone anymore. He’d been given a second chance at having love in his life, and he still wanted to put his sons’ needs before his own. How could he possibly have any problem with that? He did, however, question the venue.
“Here?” Levi asked, eyes wide. “You’re going to ask her to marry you in the same place you’ve been coming to work on your grief for your last wife?”
Denny stared at his two sons, shaking his head with a laugh. “Tilly loved your mom too, boys. And she knows that I don’t need to stop loving what your mom and I had to be able to love her today.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Is that all you guys are worried about? Where I’m going to propose?”
Matteo shrugged. “She makes you happy.”
“Yeah, Dad,” Levi chimed in. “Little Teo and I have grown up a bit recently. And seeing as how you’re notthatold yet, we’d be selfish a-holes if we expected you to be alone for the rest of your life. If, according to young Teo, Tilly does make you happy, then I thinkweare more than happy for you.” He laughed. “Man, that was a lot of happy in one sentence from a guy who is anything but.”He playfully backhanded his brother on the arm.
Hope cleared her throat. “Remember me? The woman who apparently only showed up to unlock the door?”
Denny Rourke offered her the same apologetic smile he’d given his sons. “Tilly is always one of the first ones to arrive to any gathering, so we needed to beat her to it. I also wanted you to be here when it happened,” he told her. “You’re part of the reason Tilly and I work like we do, Hope. And I can’t thank you enough.”
