We’re all practically salivating. There’s nothing quite like a full English fry-up after a night on the piss.
We’re deep in chatter after our breakfast, laughing when the sound of my phone buzzing from the lounge grabs my attention. I pluck it off the table where I left it last night, swiping to open the message.
“Ugh.” I roll my eyes.
Anna notices and follows me to the sofa. “What is it?”
I spin my phone to show her the screen.Lucas.
I never replied to his message.
My heart stutters. Why does my body react like this? It’s like I’ve been conditioned to fall into disarray whenever his name pops up.
It’s pissing me off.
Anna reaches out, taking my free hand and rubbing her thumb gently over my knuckles.
“Hey,” she says, pulling me back to the present. “It’s alright. We’re both here. You don’t have to read anything you don’t want to, and if youdoopen the text, we’ll be right here next to you, yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Gemma strolls in and kneels in front of me while we sit on the sofa, her eyes flicking between Anna and me. “Lucas?” she asks, and Anna dips her chin in confirmation. Gemma’s gazeshifts to mine, “Would it make you feel better if we read the text for you?” she asks.
I nod. “Yes, please. I don’t think I can read it. I’m too jittery.”
“That’s completely fine,” Gemma reassures me, holding out her hand. I place the phone in her palm. Her eyes scan the message briefly before she reads aloud. “‘Are you free today? I’d love to grab a coffee and have a chat.’”
“Do you want to see him?” Anna asks. I pause.
As confused and pissed off as I am, there’s a part of me, as much as I hate to admit it, that wants to hear what he has to say.
I haven’t seen him since his date at the Mayfair Lounge—where he had the balls to act as though I didn’t exist. I can’t imagine he’s looking to get back together.
Maybe it’s something else, something unrelated.
Could it be he’s missing Basil? My thoughts are in overdrive as I reach another possible conclusion—Caroline.
A pit forms in my stomach at the thought that something could be wrong with her. But if that were true, surely James would have known about it and told me.
“I don’twantto see him, not really,” I say. “But this is the second text he’s sent in two days. If he’s going to be persistent, I’d rather just get it over with than have this hanging over me.” I pause, bobbing my knees up and down. “But I’m terrified. If this is how my body reacts to a bloody text, I can’t even imagine how I’ll handle seeing him in person. What if I completely fall apart?”
My pulse spikes at the possibility of facing him again. The idea I might break down in front of him—of showing him that kind of vulnerability after everything—feels humiliating.
Gemma leans forward with a serious look on her face. “Of course you feel anxious. But,ifyou decide to meet him, don’t think about howhemight see you—think about whatyouwant to get out of it. If you cry, so what? He’s lucky you’re even giving him the time of day. He deserves a kick in the dick.”
“Yeah,” Anna says, jumping in. “Who gives a fuck what he thinks? If you cry, you cry. If you shit your pants, you shit your pants. But you’re seriously not giving yourself enough credit. You’re so much stronger than you think, April. And at the end of the day, it’s just a conversation. You don’t have to talk to him ever again after this if you don’t want to. But if hearing him out gives you closure, especially if you’re serious about James, then maybe it’s worth it. It’s a hurdle the two of you will have to jump sooner or later.”
She gives me a reassuring look, and I press my lips together, evaluating my options. She’s right. They both are. Idefinitelywant to see James again. I need to make it right with him. As much as it’s awful that James and Lucas can barely stand each other, their strained relationship actually works in James’s and my favour. It’s not like I’ll have to deal with Lucas much if things move forward with James.
I comb my fingers through my tangled hair, smoothing out the kinks. I silently count down in my head, matching my breath to the rhythm, and slowly my heartbeat returns to its usual pace. I feel calmer now, more in control.
“I know it’s ridiculous, but if I’m going to see him today, I want to look good. He sought attention from so many beautiful women online, and it really messed with me … I want him to know what he lost, you know?”
“Gemma,” Anna says, her tone sharp with determination. “Hand me the phone.” She holds out her arm expectantly.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice rising with panic.
“I’m telling Fuggo that you’ll meet him today,” Anna replies. Gemma smirks knowingly at her as Anna takes the phone and starts typing. “And we’re going to help you look hot as shit.”
