“Do youwanther?”
“Of course I want her.”
“Then do what Lucas didn’t—chase her.”
Chapter 29
April
Irest my head against the cool leather of the headrest, squeezing my eyes shut as the Uber speeds off down the road. I can’t get James’s tortured expression out of my mind.
This was a mistake.
He looked devastated.
I stare out the window, lost in thought as the city blurs into streaks of white, green, and red.
I take a few deep, shaky breaths, trying to quell the storm building inside me. Lucas couldn’t have chosen a worse time to send his stupid message.
Why would he unblock me now?
What could he want to say to me after all this time?
I wonder if he found out about James and me somehow. Surely not.
Of course, the first time I hear from him in months is the morning after his brother was buried balls deep inside me. Just my bloody luck.
There’s no point putting off reading the message. Might as well do it now, like ripping off a Band-Aid. My finger hovers over the conversation with Lucas—the one that’s been dead silent formonths. I open the thread, and my eyes fix on his three simple words.
A wave of nausea rolls through me and my palms start to sweat.
I’m panicking.
I know this isn’t a typical or healthy way to respond to a message from someone I once loved, but the truth is, I’m powerless against it.
I reread his message over and over.
Lucas:Can we talk?
Can we talk?
Is he serious?
This is the guy who was hiding behind a fucking Instagram account, messaging dozens of women, and sending voice notes and dick pics. Who fell out of love with me to pursue women online, broke my heart, and then ghosted me without so much as a word.Nowhe suddenly wants to talk?
The questions pour in thick and fast, stealing the breath from my lungs.
I’m anxious.
I’m anxious and I’m pissed. It feels like fire is erupting beneath my skin.
A couple of months ago, I would have done anything to receive a message like this from him. I would have clung to every word, desperate for any sort of connection. I was so consumed by the hope of us getting back together that I would imagine him showing up on my doorstep out of the blue, pleading for my forgiveness, confessing that he still loves me, that he wants me, that he misses me as much as I miss him, that he chooses me.
That he made a mistake.
But he never did.
His message just proves that everything is always on his terms.
