She leaned into him.
No. Not even to keep her by his side would he gamble with her as the stake. Taking her out of it was the right thing to do. He never should have involved her to begin with.
She dropped onto a chair across from his desk, ignoring the settee by the wall. Perhaps she was smart not to sit next to him. Best to keep this discussion business-like. Netta appreciated frankness, not mawkish sentiment and hand-holding.
He stood in front of her, leaning back against the desk. “A win in your column at last.”
The smile she should have worn at a victory was absent. “Yes. So what was it you had to tell me?”
He crossed his arms and his ankles. Where to start? With the decision that affected her most, he supposed. “It’s about my plan.” He inhaled. Best just to spit it out.
“Netta, I’m sorry. You’re out.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ice filled her veins. Of all the things she’d thought John might say, that hadn’t been one of them.
“Why?” It shouldn’t matter. She’d been about to quit. But being tossed aside stung.
He shrugged. “I don’t know if I can guarantee your safety. The chance isn’t worth it.”
Everything in her melted. “But you need a woman as a stake.”
“I will tempt Sudworth with something else.”
Well, that made breaking her news to him easier. She tilted her head. “That was all you had to tell me? No deep, dark secret?”
He gripped the edge of the desk. “No, that wasn’t all.”
A moment passed. Two.
“Well?”
“I’m getting to it.” He blew out a breath. “So impatient.”
“And you’re delaying.”
John picked up a brass paperweight and tossed it between his hands. “It’s about the work I did for the government. It wasn’t as a member of the House of Lords.” He cleared his throat. “I am…I was…”
Netta made a circular motion with her hand. “You were…?”
“I was a spy.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I spied for the Crown.”
She scooted to the edge of her chair. “Truly? How thrilling.” She was never one for envy, that emotion merely a waste of time and energy. But she couldn’t deny a touch of jealousy over his career. While she merely performed exciting acts on the stage, John lived them.
“You aren’t appalled? I…haven’t always done good things, Netta.”
No. John didn’t strike her as a merciful man. But he was an honorable one. With his own slightly dented code. “I assume whatever you did was necessary, and done to bad people.”
His shoulders sagged. “They were as horrible as you are marvelous.”
“The most miserable of scum indeed.” She pursed her lips. “With your background, I can see you’d have alternatives to winning your deed back in a game.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes, but nothing that would hold up under scrutiny. I don’t want the mines enjoined in a legal battle. A winner-take-all game of hazard is still the direction I want to go.”
“Without me.” She bit the inside of her cheek. If she were a stranger to Sudworth, she would convince John to use her still. The risk seemed minimal and John’s smelts were of utmost importance to him.
Leaning forwards, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Nothing need change between us. We can still enjoy each other’s company as before, if you’d like. You can even remain here until we find you a more suitable apartment.”
