Tripp Alden could never be wrong! Ergo, it must be me.
He’s such a narcissistic fuckwad.
Kaelee hated that so many thoughts of her father had crept into her mind lately. She’d removed the name he’d given her at birth, combining her maternal grandparents’ names—Katherine and Leland—so as to honor them. Kaelee was a name of her own choosing,andshe’d removed her father’s surname. She wasn’t even going to pretendthat “Carpenter” was anything but a jab at him, too. She wore a common name, instead of the one he was so proud of, not that she thought her father even knew her current name. He wasn’t likely to care enough to track her down.
I’m just being paranoid.
What reason would he have to decide to keep tabs on his lesbian daughter who defied and embarrassed him?
But thinking about him led to thoughts of her farce of a fiancé, and thinking about Kyle was a surefire way to give herself insomnia. She’d been a victim, and neither her mother nor her sister had been there for her. No one had. She was alone dealing with the fallout of a rape that had resulted from her fatherassigningher a fiancé—and that fiancé taking what he thought was his.
Never a-fucking-gain.
Kaelee didn’t exactly share her past with people. She didn’t want pityorthe rubbernecking trauma lovers asking questions. The past was the past, and it needed to stay there.
But thinking about the secrets she’d lived with made her wonder if her publishing dream was foolish. She didn’t want to be in the public eye. Ever. She didn’t want to be found by her father’s associates or Kyle’s and have her life wrecked by them and their hateful, narrow-minded lives.
I need an anchor.
I need a…
Without letting herself spiral any more, she opened the dating app and started typing a message.
Lee:Last minute trip to NY. You around tomorrow? Monday?
Marie:Maybe tomorrow. Work on Monday.
Lee:All day and night?
Marie:Noooo. Work all day. Free after. What time?
Lee:Work meetings all day Monday. Maybe dinner? You?
Marie:Are you asking to meet for dinner or have me for dinner?
Lee:I want to have you.
Marie:Yes.
Kaelee relaxed. Foolish though it was, just chatting with Marie made her feel better, especially the fact that Marie replied so quickly. Kaelee was insecure about her life plan, her book, her decision about whether to finish her PhD, but she was sure of her body and what she could do with it.
It’s not like I am trying to claim it’s a healthy coping plan, but I’m not using anyone either. We are both going into this with eyes open. Just a fling. Just a fuck.
Typically, she went old-school when she traveled, but more and more, that had led to awkwardI’m not looking to dateconversations, as ifI’m only in town for the weekendwas somehow unclear. So many people were looking for that media-created lie that there was such a thing as forever love or that wanting it was something everyone felt. That was pheromones or some other hormone talking. There was even research that kissing and cuddling created some bonding chemical in people. Love was just a mix of biology and societal training.
Lust… was something else, and Kaelee would own having that. That was the only reason she’d been tempted to go to the city early. Lust, plain and simple.
Her phone chimed, and the group chat with the rest of the English grad students was a flurry of conversation. A group of them were headed to a dive bar, Marley’s House, for drinks and pool, or maybe drinks and darts, or possibly a band. She honestly couldn’t tell. The conversation was happening too quickly.
She grabbed a jacket, wrapped a scarf around her throat, and headed out. She paused to throw all three locks. Maybe it was obsessive or paranoid, but she had the super’s permission to add extra locks. There was a fourth lock, but that was one that could only belocked from inside. Technically, she had to keep a duplicate key on file for every lock, but she figured she wasn’t violating any terms if she didn’thavea key for it.
She attached her keys to the carabiner that she’d stitched inside her pocket with a Kevlar thread. There was zero chance anyone was taking those without her noticing.
I’m not paranoid. I’m just prepared.
By the time she got to the bar where the department seemed to cluster, Kaelee felt a familiar wave offuck you, Trippwash over her. Mentally, she could summon up the expression of disgust he felt at the thought of his child in a place like this.Aldensdid not drink in places where the floor was sticky or there were black light stamps on the backs of everyone’s hands.
KaeleeCarpenter,however, most certainly did.
