“That if I had to choose between the role and you, I’d have picked you.” Addie shrugged.
“I’m not worth surrendering a promising career move,” Toni said, sounding harsher than she meant to be.
“I wanted the role because it feels like it was meant for me, but I also wanted it because it was a chance to see you again,” Addie said without any apparent artifice. “I want you. I want whatever this electricity is between us. I want our regular conversations throughout the week. There are other roles out there, but no one has ever made me break my no-sex rule until you, Toni. Just you. I want to be your friend, but Iwantyou, too, and that’s exciting in ways that I don’t entirely understand. I thought I just wasn’t… sexual until you kissed me.”
“Oh.” Toni’s mind couldn’t quite keep up with the things she was hearing. A small, very rational part of her knew all the reasons that taking Addie to her bed was a bad idea.Keep it just friends,her logic insisted.No baby gays,she told herself.No tangling work with sex.
Then Addie said, “Since that night, I imagine you saying I’m a good girl when I get myself off. Can we do that?”
And all of Toni’s common sense died, left the building, ran fleeing from the wave of lust that surged up. She pulled Addie to her so abruptly that Addie let out a gasp, but she didn’t object when Toni lowered her mouth to hers. Instead she parted her lips in invitation.
Toni was the one to whimper when Addie pulled back and said, “Toni…”
“What?”
Before Toni could pull her close again, Addie said, “We’re here. Your floor.”
The elevator doors slid open to reveal the pinched face of a couple who looked like they had caught a glimpse of the antichrist. Maybe it was the sight of anyone kissing, or maybe pockets of homophobia were alive and well, even here in liberal LA. Not as widespread as in some places, but Toni could draw a map of the hot spots for it in the country based on the number of places that dismissed her entirenovel because the character was a lesbian. She tried to tell herself,Some places simply don’t love lesbians,but if the details were reversed, if Toni were reading a book about a het woman, she wouldn’t dismiss an entire novel for that one detail.
And while Toni didn’t understand the appeal of hetero marriage, she didn’t give the heterosexual couple in front of her that lemon-sucking look that the woman standing there was currently sporting.
“Sorry. Excuse us,” Addie started to say.
Toni simply shouldered past them, shoving back the rage that threatened to sour her mood. The only downside of Toni looking masc was that no one ever thought Tonimightbe straight. Women who looked like Addie could pass for straight in a pinch, could escape danger or crude remarks. Not that Toniwantedto pass, but every so often Toni thought it would be nice to live in a world where she did not get disdainful looks because of how she was born.
“Ugh. It’s like they’ve never considered having sex in an elevator,” Addie said, loud enough for them to hear.
A laugh bubbled up, and Toni stopped mid-step and stared at Addie. Foul mood no longer on the horizon. This woman was magical. That was the only explanation.
“Maybe they haven’t,” Toni managed to say.
“Poor things!” Addie called out as the elevator doors slid closed. She glanced at Toni and added, “Number?”
“What? Number of…” Was she asking how often Toni had enjoyed sex in an elevator or—
“Your room number,” Addie clarified with another of her giggles.
Toni rattled it off.
“For what it’s worth, I think about the chance of getting caught when you… when we…” Addie stammered a little this time, as if her courage had suddenly slipped away as Toni pulled out a room key. She sounded a little breathless when she said, “I can’t believe I even did that, you know.”
“Maybe we should make a list of things to try,” Toni said lightly. She was pretty sure that the scandal ofactuallygetting caught wouldbe a big issue for both her careers, but there were plenty of other experiences to try. Addie might be more willing to see Toni if they had a list of things to experience together.
The thought ofnotseeing Addie made Toni’s stomach clench.
Toni stopped in front of her room door. “I want to be perfectly clear, Addie. The role is still yours if you walk away. I am not going to sabotage or manipulate you or—”
“Iknow.You’re not the casting director, either.” Addie took the key card and opened the door. With a direct look and a smirk, she added, “And I still want the role if you don’t want me here, but I really,reallywant to get naked with you tonight if that’s okay.” Addie turned the door handle and motioned, tossing Toni’s own gesture back at her, and said, “After you.”
The sound of the door closing behind them was unnaturally loud. The room was like a couple dozen others that Toni had slept in over the last year. Nice. Clean. Surprisingly spacious. It felt different somehow, just then, because Addie was in it.
Toni kicked off her shoes, and Addie did the same—except she perched on the edge of Toni’s bed to do so.
Toni folded her hands into fists to keep from touching Addie, but her mind was flooding with the desire to kneel there in front of Addie and worship her.
“With two jobs and everything else going on…,” Toni started, not quite ready to elaborate more on the drama with her mom or the size of the debt she’d had to clear or the stress of the film deal and travel. Instead, she rushed the next words far more than she usually said anything: “I haven’t touched anyone since you.”
“Anyone?”
