Spring Break in March.
Sublet LA apartment June 1-August 26th
Consult with Addie on all of this.
Grand gestures. How often? What sort would she like?
Couples trips. Where is her dream vacation? Go there. (Maybe for Spring Break?)
Check out proper schedule for declaring commitment levels. Schedule them. (There has to be a book on this.)
Discuss what she thinks needs added to this plan. Add it.
Give her keys to my place.
Addie looked up at Toni several times as she read. Then she set the list aside. “So you have gone from running away to… whatever this is?”
“I was wrong, and I love you,” Toni started. She held out a key ring. “This is the key to my place. Any time you want to visit, you can just show up. I always want you there, and I have no secrets that would mean you couldn’t stop in at any time.” She looked at Addieearnestly. “Kaelee got an offer of representation from Em. That’s why she was there at my mother’s memory care home, and why I hugged her. She was freaking out.”
“I know you—”
“No.” Toni dropped to her knees. “I swear to you that I didn’t—”
“I didn’t think you wereseeingher. I was upset because she knew where your mom was,” Addie said. “You wouldn’t take me to meet your mom, though. You wouldn’t let me in, but you let a random stu—”
“I think Kae is my friend, actually. I was shoving that away, too, because she was my TA, but…” Toni rubbed a hand over her face. “Kae only knew where my mom lives because last year, before I bought the Jeep, my old car broke down, and I had to call her for a ride.” Toni clutched the key ring in her hand. “It was mortifying. I had to call my TA to pick me up. I guess I could’ve used rideshare, but I hadn’t been paid yet and… I don’t tell people about Lil, and I didn’t take anyone to meet her. I didn’t tell Kaelee where Lil lives bychoice,love. I swear.”
“I want to meet your mom,” Addie said. “Add it to your list.”
Toni looked at the ceiling like she was praying, and when she looked back, she said, “My father had a type—gorgeous, very femme, delicate women with vivacious laughs. So Lil sometimes thinks women are there as his mistress, and… she has a temper sometimes. I was trying to protect you. Most of the time, she thinks I’m my aunt Patty.”
“Oh.”
“If it’s that important, though, we’ll find a way. I want you to see that I’m serious, love.” Toni knelt there still. “Don’t tell me it’s too late for us, please.”
“This kind of plan isn’tyou.What happens when you feel panicked next time? Or you need to retreat?” Addie shook her head. “This list is too fast. You can’t go from ‘don’t love me’ to ‘here’s a relationship.’”
“Which part is too fast? I can adjust it.” Toni pulled out a pen. “I can’t lose you.”
“You are being ridiculous right now,” Addie grumbled.
“You wouldn’t let me talk to you, so I read a bunch of articles and skimmed a few novels and—”
“You researched.” Addie didn’t bother hiding her smile. “You researched how to… what? Win a heart? You already have that, Toni. You’ve had my heart for a year, maybe more.”
“I researched long-distance relationships, commitment-phobes, and apologies,” Toni said without so much as cringing. “Honestly, love, I knew I was falling for you when I left LA last time. When we spent the night together. I thought I could control it, but then when you stopped talking to me, it hurt.”
“Oh,” Addie said again.
“Maybe I knew even sooner. Addie, I named my series protagonist after you. I’ve been thinking a lot between research bouts.” Toni sighed. “May I sit?”
“No.”
“I thought—”
